Still Standing

The most hilarious town names in Canada

From Dildo, Nfld to Stoner, B.C., there’s no shortage of hilarious town names in Canada that make tourists stop in their tracks to snag a photo with the welcome sign.
The municipality of Saint-Louis-du-Ha!-Ha!, Que., is located on the south shore of the St. Lawrence River. (Rob Schmidt/Creative Commons)

From Dildo, N.L. to Stoner B.C., there's no shortage of hilarious town names in Canada  — the kind that make tourists screech to a halt for a photo opp with the town's "Welcome To…" sign.

If you're from a town with an unusual moniker, you're familiar with that moment when people ask where you're from. Will they snort or crack a joke you've heard a thousand times? Because your town is no laughing matter. You're not from some unforgettable Smallville. Maybe it sounds silly to outsiders, and possibly a tad dirty. But then you straighten your spine: "This is the name of my home town. You'd better not forget it."

We asked our community on Facebook to nominate their favourite, most hilarious and unforgettable small town Canadian names. Here are their top picks.

Alberta

  • Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump (An actual place where Buffalo were run off a cliff by hunters and where one Aboriginal hunter met his head-smashy demise)
  • Dead Man's Flats (are you getting the feeling that Alberta has a rough history?)
  • Vulcan (yes, Leonard Nimoy actually visited here)

 

Officials in Dildo, Trinity Bay, are warning people to stay away from the new sign that was given as a gift from Jimmy Kimmel. (Ariana Kelland/CBC)

Newfoundland and Labrador

Jonny Harris is from the adorably-named Pouch Cove, N.L. but for its relatively small population, the Rock way over-indexes on giggle-worthy town names.

  • Dildo (There were a few nominations for this one, and Honorary Mayor and talk show host Jimmy Kimmel famously put the town on the world map!)
  • Come By Chance
  • Blow Me Down
  • Goobies
  • Witless Bay

Nova Scotia

  • Balls Creek
  • Sober Island
  • Mushaboom
  • Lower Economy (there is also an Upper Economy — no word on its comparative financial ranking)

New Brunswick

  • Quispamsis (say it three times, really fast)
  • Cocagne

PEI

  • Cardigan (did you even know there was an Earl of Cardigan? Well now you do!)
  • Crapaud 

Quebec

  • Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! (Also bears the distinction of being the only town in the world with two exclamation points in its name.)
  • Mayo
  • Trois-Pistoles (yep, three of 'em)

Ontario

  • Punkeydoodles Corners
  • Crotch Lake
  • Ball's Falls 
  • Wawa
  • Mono
("Welcome to Flin Flon 8053" by seniwati (Flickr / Creative Commons))

Manitoba

  • Flin Flon (actually named after a science fiction character)
  • Finger 
  • Bacon Ridge

Saskatchewan

  • Mosquito Grizzly Bears Head Lean Man (you just know there's a good story in that name)
  • Climax
  • Moose Jaw
  • Eyebrow
  • Big Beaver
  • Urin (Where are you? Ur-in Saskatchewan!)
Stoner B.C. map

British Columbia

One of our readers, Jason, wrote: "There is a town in BC that couldn't decide if it wanted a laid back name or an aggressive name, so the townsfolk compromised: Chilliwack"

  • Spuzzum (made famous in the '80s when "Six Cylinder" in a song with the refrain "If you haven't been to Spuzzum, you ain't been anywhere")
  • Skookumchuk
  • Stoner

Did we miss any? Let us know your favourites!

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