50 Shades of Sex

There's no doubt 50 Shades of Grey has become the book every woman is talking about. Since March 2012, there have been over 31 million copies sold worldwide, making it the fastest-selling paperback of all time. Sexologist Robin Milhausen explains why this is in the hands of women across the globe.

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"Some have attributed it's popularity to the rise in e-readers. Women can read this book on their tablet and no one will know the wiser," says Robin. "Women want to be swept away into a romantic story and want to be titillated as well. It is a story of pure fantasy."

If you're feeling a little inspired after reading 50 Shades of Grey, Robin has some tips to spice up your sex life at home:

1. Play with your senses

If you aren't into getting spanked with a belt or tied spread eagle on a rack, there are elements of the book which you can use in your own life. Experimenting with the senses is something the characters in the book often do often. When one of our senses is masked, the others are heightened.

Having sex in the pitch black, for example, will perhaps allow you to focus more on sensations and feel them more intensely. Or focus on one sense above the others; bring things into the bedroom with erotic smells and tastes.

2. Finding your privacy

I was out with some women from my neighbourhood and we were lamenting the loss of privacy, having young kids, living in smaller homes where sounds really carry. This leads to feeling inhibited in the bedroom.

One of the women said, 'the bedroom! I haven't had sex in the bedroom in years - why do you think we renovated our basement?!' I thought this was great! Instead of toning down the sex, find another place to have it. Being present in an encounter is the only way to have really intense, erotic sex, and we can't be present if we are worried about who is hearing us or who might walk in. So have sex in the basement!

3. Look the part

It's hard to FEEL sexy when you don't feel like you look sexy. But you don't have to have expensive lingerie, or venture into a kinky sex shop to get the right gear. Even your local department store has a host of sexy and affordable nightwear, and we can all find something that flatters.

If you feel good about yourself, your confidence will translate in the bedroom and be attractive to your partner. It's a simple and small thing, but you are both more likely to be up for sex if you are wearing this a negligee instead of your ratty old t-shirt.

 

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