This is That·SATIRE

Canadian government to make fruitcake illegal

According to a representative from the Canadian Ministry of Seasonal Desserts, fruitcake is now illegal due to its extreme lack of popularity.
In this Nov. 27, 2012 photo, a fruitcake from the Southern Supreme Fruitcake Company is displayed in Bear Creek, N.C. (Chris Steward/The News & Observer/AP)
Listen3:33

According to a representative from the Canadian Ministry of Seasonal Desserts, fruitcake is now illegal due to its extreme lack of popularity.

Darrel Ames, who became audibly angered while discussing the classic holiday treat, explained that the ministry closely monitors how seasonal desserts are performing and observed that nobody enjoys fruitcake.

"It gets wrapped in tinfoil, goes in the freezer, and nobody ever eats it—except for Grandpa," he told host Peter Oldring.

While sweet-tarts took a slight dip in recent years, they still perform quite strongly, says Ames. They government ministry will continue to monitor its popularity.

Listen to the full story to find out the punishment for anyone caught manufacturing, distributing, or possessing fruitcake.


This Is That is an award-winning satirical radio program that doesn't just talk about the issues, it fabricates them. Each week, hosts Pat Kelly and Peter Oldring introduce you to the voices and stories that give this country character in this 100% improvised send-up of public radio.

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