Q

NYT columnist Daniel Jones shares love lessons from strangers

From the Best of Q: Daniel Jones, long-time editor of the New York Times' Modern Love column, takes a closer look at modern courtship.

Guest host Gill Deacon speaks with Daniel Jones, the long-time editor of the New York Times' Modern Love — a relationship column that attracts the hopelessly romantic and broken-hearted alike. 

In a wide-ranging conversation from the Best of Q, Jones reflects on how technology has affected contemporary courtship, how he came to see ten phases in most relationships, and the one piece of advice he'd give to couples.

Jones shares more of his hard-earned insight in a new book: Love Illuminated: Exploring Life's Most Mystifying Subject (With the Help of 50,000 Strangers)

He tells Gill about one of the biggest mistakes he sees in relationships: 

"We idealize love so much at the beginning, and we fantasize about what a soulmate would be ... someone who gets us deeply and that person comes pre-packaged that way." 

"A lot of relationships fail early that may have succeeded later if we didn't have such high expectations of the person at the beginning. It's great to think of someone who's a soulmate who knows you very deeply later, after you've been married for five years or ten years. Now this person has earned the right to be my soulmate."

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