Inappropriate Questions


Inappropriate Questions

People are curious, and that's great. But there are some questions you just shouldn't ask--or at least not like that. Elena "#millennial" Hudgins Lyle and Harvinder "just a dad" Wadhwa break these questions down with guests who get asked them.

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“Can I speak to your manager?”

Asking for the manager can be loaded. It can reveal who we think holds the power in a business—and who we think doesn’t. So what should a customer do when they’re not getting the right service? Jason Suerte Felipe shares his experience handling this question as a retail cashier. Beauty practitioner Asha Allen-Silverstein tells us why people don’t believe she owns her own business as a Black woman. Dr. Laura Morgan Roberts sheds light on the history of the worker-customer power dynamic and where it comes from. Find the webcomic by Amie Wilensky for this episode on our Instagram @IQ_Podcast Connect with our guests below: Jason Suerte Felipe: Ig @JasonSuerte Asha Allen-Silversetin: Ig @torontobrowsxbeauty Dr. Laura Morgan Roberts: Tw @alignmentquest Amie Wilensky: Ig: amiewilenskyart

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[mp3 file: runs 00:35:35]

“How old are you?"

Is it rude to ask someone their age? Harv isn’t comfortable telling people how old he is anymore and he’s not alone. He and Elena speak to author and activist Ashton Applewhite to debunk some myths about aging and discuss why our society fears growing older. Lifestyle writer Elizabeth Wellington explains how being seen as younger can mask the realities of aging for Black women, and actor Sam Pancake shares his story of facing ageism within the LGBTQ+ community. Connect with our guests below: Ashton Applewhite: Tw @thischairrocks Elizabeth Wellington: Tw @EWellingtonPHL Sam Pancake: Tw @jsampancake

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[mp3 file: runs 00:36:47]

“Have you tried _____?”

Have you tried yoga? Or changing your diet? Well-meaning people propose lots of ways for people with chronic illnesses to treat their conditions. But managing a chronic illness can be more complicated than we might think. Elena and Harv speak with BuzzFeed deputy director and author Lara Parker about handling unsolicited advice as well as navigating privilege as it relates to chronic illness and potential treatments. Advocate Sneha Dave gives her thoughts on the importance of building a community with youth who share her chronic illness, and patient expert Lara Bloom explains why it can be so hard to find treatments that help. The webcomic for this week’s episode is by Hana Shafi. Find it on our Instagram @IQ_Podcast. Connect with our guests below: Lara Parker: Tw @laraeparker Sneha Dave: Tw @snehadave98 Lara Bloom: Tw @LaraBloom Hana Shafi: Ig @FrizzKidArt

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[mp3 file: runs 00:34:16]

“Are you full Native?”

Many Indigenous people get asked how much Indigenous ancestry they have. But identity isn’t all about fractions. Harv and Elena talk to Falen Johnson from The Secret Life of Canada about her identity journey and her “therapy play.” Actress Kaniehtiio Horn discusses how she navigates Hollywood stereotypes and what makes her feel connected to her people. Dr. Kim TallBear tells us why DNA alone doesn’t make someone Indigenous. Our webcomic this week is by Rhael McGregor, available on our Instagram @IQ_Podcast. Take a listen to The Secret Life of Canada’s episode about the Indian Act here: Connect with our guests below: Falen Johnson: Tw @FalenJohnson Kaniehtiio Horn: Tw @kaniehtiio Dr. Kim TallBear: Tw @KimTallBear Rhael McGregor: IG @raysdrawlings

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[mp3 file: runs 00:36:26]

“How did you get pregnant?”

There are lots of ways to start a family as an LGBTQ+ person, and not all of them are well understood. Harv and Elena speak to queer mom Farrah Khan about why she didn’t want to explain her pregnancy to strangers, and some of the challenges queer people face when it comes to getting pregnant. Journalist Freddy McConnell takes us through his ups and downs of navigating pregnancy as a trans man and single dad. The webcomic for this episode was created by Louise Reimer, find it on our Instagram @IQ_podcast Check out Freddy’s podcast Pride & Joy from BBC Sounds for more stories about queer families. Connect with our guests below: Farrah Khan - Tw: @farrahsafiakhan Freddy McConnell - Tw: @freddymcconnell Louise Reimer - IG: @louisereimer

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[mp3 file: runs 00:29:36]

“How are you?”

It’s hard to know the right thing to say to someone who’s grieving. Even the simplest questions aren’t always helpful. Elena and Harv speak to comedian Michael Cruz Kayne, who lost his child, about why we should all talk about grief more. Grief counsellor Kayla Moryoussef gives her advice on what to say next time you want to help a friend who’s experienced a loss. The webcomic for this episode was created by Sara Goetter, find it on our Instagram @IQ_podcast Connect with our guests below: Michael Cruz Kayne – Tw: @cruzkayne Kayla Moryoussef – IG: @gooddeathdoula Sara Goetter – Tw: @sgoetter

Download “How are you?”
[mp3 file: runs 00:32:33]

“Have you lost weight?”

Asking someone if they’ve lost weight is often seen as a compliment, but maybe it shouldn’t be. Elena and Harv talk with performer Ivory and writer Bob Kerr to unpack some thoughts about weight. Dietician Kimmie Singh discusses misconceptions between weight and health. Find the webcomic by Mollie Cronin for this episode on our Instagram @IQ_Podcast Connect with our guests below: Ivory (IG: @pureivorydotca) Bob Kerr (Tw: @mrbobkerr) Kimmie Singh, Body Positive Dietician (IG: @bodypositive_dietitian) Mollie Cronin (IG: @art.brat.comics)

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[mp3 file: runs 00:35:23]

We’re back with Season 2!

Elena and Harv are coming back with a whole new list of inappropriate questions. Our millennial and dad duo sit down with more guests to find kinder ways to navigate difficult conversations.

Download We’re back with Season 2!
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:14]

Bonus: Asked and Answered:

Elena and Harv sit down with Rymn, Harv’s daughter, to answer your questions! Learn about their favourite podcasts, potential questions for Season 2, and what millennial slang Harv thinks he understands. Thank you for listening to Season 1 of Inappropriate Questions! We are so incredibly thankful we got to share so many interesting stories and perspectives with you. Follow us @iq_podcast for future updates.

Download Bonus: Asked and Answered:
[mp3 file: runs 00:15:26]

"Why don't you have kids?"

People are curious about the choice to be childfree. Harv and Elena discuss it with Meghan Daum, editor of Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids. Sociologists Dr. Amy Blackstone and Dr. Kimya Dennis share some insight into their respective research about childfree people.

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[mp3 file: runs 00:27:49]

"Why do/don't you wear a headscarf?"

Some Muslim women cover their heads, and some don’t—either way, they get asked questions. Elena and Harv speak to writer and entrepreneur Mariam Nouser about her experiences both wearing and not wearing a hijab. Also, journalist Amira Elghawaby tells us why she might actually like to hear more questions about her headscarf from strangers.

Download "Why do/don't you wear a headscarf?"
[mp3 file: runs 00:28:34]

Bonus: "How did we get here?"

You’ve met the hosts, you’ve met the guests, but what about the producers? Harv interviews the Inappropriate Questions team about their not-so-inappropriate origins. Hear how the project started, how Harv ascended to stardom, and some of our favourite moments from the season!

Download Bonus: "How did we get here?"
[mp3 file: runs 00:17:38]

"Why don't you drink?"

Harv doesn’t drink alcohol, and he doesn’t have a problem with people asking him why. He and Elena speak to numerous guests to find out whether or not they think “Why don’t you drink?” is an inappropriate question. Along the way, there’s a lot to unpack about alcohol’s role in our society and our personal lives.

Download "Why don't you drink?"
[mp3 file: runs 00:41:41]

"Can you have sex?"

People are curious about sex. They can be really curious about people with physical disabilities’ sex lives. Disability After Dark host Andrew Gurza joins Elena and Harv to talk sex and disability. Elena also calls up educator and paracanoe champion Christine Selinger.

Download "Can you have sex?"
[mp3 file: runs 00:28:58]

"What are you?"

Asking a mixed-race person about their background can get problematic. Elena and Harv welcome Rema Tavares, who founded Mixed in Canada. Also featuring educator Charlotte Henay.

Download "What are you?"
[mp3 file: runs 00:24:31]

"Have you had the surgery?"

Transgender folks can get asked invasive questions about their bodies. Harv and Elena speak to student activist Robert Molloy. Also featuring trans youth mentor Danielle Araya from The 519.

Download "Have you had the surgery?"
[mp3 file: runs 00:31:13]

Episode 0: Trailer

People are curious and that's great. But there are some questions you just shouldn't ask—or at least not like that. Introducing Inappropriate Questions, hosted by Elena Hudgins Lyle and Harvinder Wadhwa.

Download Episode 0: Trailer
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:38]