Out in the Open

Making space for all women's experience of miscarriage

For Sarah Liss, the expectation that she’d mourn her two miscarriages didn’t leave any space for how she actually felt about it all.
"I felt like they were looking for something from me... like I wasn't performing miscarriage properly," (Mikael Häggström)

Sarah Liss had two miscarriages in her first trimester. For her, they didn't feel like losses she needed to grieve. But the expectation that they were made it hard for Sarah to actually articulate her needs and feelings about it all.

"I felt like they were looking for something from me... like I wasn't performing miscarriage properly," she says, "If you do want to acknowledge the real trauma you're going through, but you don't have that sentimental experience, it feels like there's not really a place in the discussion."

Sarah thinks the physical side of pregnancy loss should have a greater place in the conversation.

"We don't talk openly about the physicality of miscarriage," she says, "I think it's a lot easier to focus on the emotions of the experience, because that's something that's considered very feminine. But being able to understand and address the, 'Oh, ok, are you in a lot of pain? Are you bleeding a lot? Do you need a break because of that?' That doesn't seem to be something we're quite as comfortable talking about."

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