Now or Never

It's 'National Breakup Month'. Here are expert tips on dealing with heartbreak

A 'breakup coach' offers concrete ways to deal with heartbreak and start this year with healing.

A 'breakup coach' offers concrete ways to deal with the end of your relationship

Two people sit with their arms crossed, in an image that crops out the upper portion of their faces. They look unhappy as a male figure looks away to the left, and a female figure looks away to the right.
Breakups are more common in December than any other month. Here's how to start your January after a holiday split. (Tiko Aramyan / Shutterstock)

Did you end your holidays with a heartbreak hangover? You're not alone. 

In fact, an analysis of relationship status changes on Facebook showed that December 11th is the biggest day of the year for breakups. January is even unofficially known as "National Breakup Month".

The reasons for this increase in split-ups are unclear. Maybe all that time together over the holidays made you realize he wasn't for you? Or perhaps your new year's resolution was to end a romance that had fizzled.

Whatever the reason, there are a lot of people out there who need help getting over a broken heart right now.

When a listener navigating the end of her marriage reached out, Now or Never called in relationship expert Natalia Juarez. A self-described "breakup coach" and "dating strategist", she offered concrete tips for starting your 2023 off by healing from heartbreak.

Tip 1: Validate your own heartbreak to yourself

Don't be afraid to acknowledge your difficult feelings. For so many, the new year begins with a lot of enthusiasm and ambition — which doesn't leave a lot of room to grieve a relationship. But if you're dealing with a breakup, know that your emotions are valid.

"Even if no one else understands, heartbreak is real. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist," said Juarez.

Tip 2: Consider the 'four pillars' 

Juarez says that there are four big personal strategies that will help you move forward after a breakup: self care, grief work, rebuilding and pleasure. Focus on each of these pillars in a way that works for you. 

"Put together a sustainable recovery plan that works for your current situation." 

Tip 3: Get support 

"Whether it's working with a professional coach or therapist, leaning on supportive loved ones, or relying on resources such as books, courses or free podcasts, there is no shortage of help available," said Juarez.

A woman in a red dress carries a laptop emblazoned with the words 'the breakup coach'.
Breakup coach Natalia Juarez is here to help you with your heartbreak. (Vika Vine)

Tip 4: Take a social media break

Changing your relationship status to "single" is going to prompt a lot of questions. And seeing photos of your ex on Instagram is going to generate a lot of feelings. While you heal, Juarez recommends taking a break from social media platforms you could find triggering.

"It's not worth the risk of seeing anything that might interfere with your healing."

Tip 5: Look at this moment as an opportunity

"Work on reframing this experience as an opportunity to change [your life] for the better. It is possible to shift from feeling like this happening to you, to believing that this is happening for you,"said Juarez.

To hear Natalia's full conversation with a listener who needed help getting over heartbreak, click the play button above.