French town gives Heracles statue a prosthetic penis. But only for special events
Heracles always did have trouble keeping his business to himself.
Even by the standards of Mount Olympus, the Greek god's virility was epic. But the sire of thousands -- who bedded fifty women in a single night -- has fallen upon hard times, in the tiny French town of Arcachon.
Arcachon : il faut mettre une prothèse aux attributs d'Héraclès, souvent "raccourcis" <a href="https://t.co/BWzTKcLhos">https://t.co/BWzTKcLhos</a> <a href="https://t.co/7QszTAjLUx">pic.twitter.com/7QszTAjLUx</a>—@SO_Bordeaux
In 1948, the seaside community erected a statue of Heracles. And immediately there were problems. The sculptor was forced to make adjustments not once but twice. The local paper says some women found the hero's bits a bit too heroic.
But now, the problem is theft. Vandals keep making off with the herculean, Heraclean phallus. As Arcachon Mayor Yves Foulon told his townsfolk recently, "I wouldn't want anyone -- not even my worst enemies-- to go through what happens to this statue."
And Heracles isn't the only one suffering. The statue is used for local ceremonies -- and the dismemberment has become an embarrassment. Deputy Mayor Martine Phelippot says, "Considering Heracles' fragile manhood, we've chosen to give him a removable prosthetic that we can add to the statue before each ceremony. Otherwise you just end up constantly chasing after the anatomy of Heracles."
The exact dimensions of the replacement organ are still under wraps. And the fertility god isn't saying what he makes of the plan. But, one way or another, we're confident Heracles will rise to the occasion.