Avril Lavigne and dolphins: the internet conspiracy you've been waiting for
Did Avril Lavigne write a sentimental song about dolphins?
Everyone loves dolphins. It's just a fact. They're cute super-geniuses that make funny noises and they're totally chill with humans who want to attach themselves to their shiny backs to swim around for their own enjoyment. Even though we're heavy and smell terrible.
Avril Lavigne probably loves dolphins, too. But — and this is important — she did not write a song about dolphins.
Chiel is a reporter for Fusion News. Picking the story up from a Facebook group thread, he set out to find out why Lavigne is getting credit, or blame, for the Dolphins song she didn't write.
Here is the opening verse of Dolphins:
Dolphins Are You
Dolphins Are Me
Dolphins are everyone that includes you and me
They love swimming with people like you and me
Dolphins live in the ocean
Dolphins live in the sea
Dolphins live in nice clear blue sea
They are accompanied by a lot of sea animals
We love them
You love them
I love them
Who doesn't like them
Give me a D
Give me a O
Give me a L
Give me a P
Give me a H
Give me a I
Give me a N
Chiel says he is trying to dig up evidence to link the song back to Lavigne, but currently has no substantial leads. He even contacted the website, LyricsMode, which he thinks may have been the first site to publish the lyrics back in 2007.
"I got in touch with their webmaster, who's a guy named Oleg, and he told me very tersely over e-mail that because no one registered when they put it up they have no idea who it is," Chiel explains.
There are a few examples of amateur covers of the song online, but Chiel says most of the performers are "in on the joke."
"I think it's definitely a mockery," Chiel insists. "It's not clear who is doing the mocking though."
Despite his efforts, Chiel has been unable to contact Lavigne. His thorough investigative journalism should be applauded but Chiel admits he has his own personal and ulterior motives.
"I would love to hear the Avril Lavigne version of Dolphins," Cheil concedes. "In my heart of hearts, what I hope for is for her to lend it some legitimacy."