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What I Want My Daughter To Know About Being A Woman

Nov 19, 2018

When my daughter left for school today, she was a still little girl. But when she came home, I swear that somehow, she had morphed into something resembling a young woman. It must have happened over recess, or hot lunch, or maybe even in science class.

Suddenly there are curves to contend with, emotions erupting, and hormones to (oh so carefully) handle.

It’s all happening faster than I expected. And I’m reminded that girlhood is heartbreakingly fleeting. So there are some things I want to tell this child, before the blossoming is complete.


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Don’t grow up so fast. You have the rest of your life to be a woman, so revel in being a girl just as long as you can. Slow down, play, pretend, and hang from those monkey bars even when your feet touch the ground.

Your ideas, thoughts, and dreams have value so always speak up and make sure you are heard.

You are so much more than your looks. Being a woman can mean feeling pressure to appear a certain way. But you are more than your packaging. Flawless skin, bouncy hair and a dazzling smile aren’t goals worthy of your time. Physical perfection isn’t interesting, but you are.

Never wear a large purse. People will just want you to carry around their stuff.

Refuse to wear anything uncomfortable. High heels, fake nails and control-top pantyhose won’t make you more attractive, they’ll just slow you down as you work to achieve your dreams.

Love and respect your body. It is powerful, something many of us don’t realize when we’re young. Puberty, pregnancy and age are going make it change, expand and evolve. Try to give yourself a break and just go along for the ride.

Don’t confuse heartache with love. There are likely many crushes and heartbreaks ahead, but don’t mistake pain for passion. In your quest for romantic affection, look for it in those who are gentle with your feelings.

Never apologize for what you think. Your ideas, thoughts and dreams have value so always speak up and make sure you are heard.


Keep Reading: Why I Let My Daughter Wear Makeup To School


If you like someone, and they don’t like you back, it’s ok. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. And if someone likes you and you don’t share their feelings, remember what it’s like to not have affections reciprocated.

Keep your relationships in real life. Don’t let your social and love life exist solely through texts and direct messages. Communicate with people in person. And please, while I’m at it, don’t text pics you don’t want the world (and me) to see online.

Be a good friend. Friends will get you through the stuff that I cannot. Choose them wisely and keep them forever.

Embrace your quirks. They are what make you unique. Sometimes you might feel that you want to be like everyone else, but one day you’ll realize being different is what helps you stand out.

Remember I’m your biggest fan, even when if it doesn’t feel that way.

And finally, feel free to ignore all this advice. Because as a woman, no one has the right to tell you what to do, how to think or what to say. Except, of course, your mother.

Article Author Laura Mullin
Laura Mullin

Read more from Laura here.

Laura Mullin is a published playwright and writer and the Co-Artistic Director of the award-winning company, Expect Theatre. She is also the Co-Host and Producer of PlayME, a podcast that transforms plays into audio dramas now on CBC. She has worked in theatre, film, and television and lives in Toronto with her writer/producer husband and pre-teen daughter. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @expectlaura.

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