The Statuses All Parents Wish They Could Post on Social Media

Nov 15, 2016

If you were to believe people’s social media, you could be forgiven for thinking that just about everybody is having a better time than you. But are they really? If you’ve ever been tempted to share your inner parenting thoughts, here are some suggestions about what you might say versus what you really mean:

mom and kid lying together smiling in bed
Photography by Alena Ozerova ©

What you post: Laid up sick in bed for a week, but my little princess made it worthwhile by bringing me breakfast in bed! #mommyslittlehelper #blessed #totallyworthit

What you want to post: Help! Get this germ-infested disease-carrying creature the heck away from me!!! #alwayssick #contagious #mightnotmakeit

kid painting
Photography by Pavla Zakova ©

What you post: My son’s been working on this art project all afternoon! In awe of his creativity! #kidart #talent #childprodigy

What you want to post: This little monster tore up my living room three times today and spilled glue on my brand new rug! #throwinthetowel #messylife #igiveup

child dance star
Photography by sam74100 ©

What you post: So proud of my daughter who lit up the stage at her annual dance recital! #broadwaycalling #childstar #astarisborn

What you want to post: Thousands of dollars invested so far, this retirement plan better start paying off soon! #indebt #outofcontrolstagemom #freedom95

Photography by kzenon ©

What you post: Fantastic night out with my mom friends! We danced all night and stayed out late! #stillgotit #hotdate #lovemygirls

What You want to post: Fantastic night with my mom friends! We talked about our kids all night and were home by 8. #nosleepingin #momlife #maybenexttime

Photography by Graham Oliver ©

What you post: Someone loved her spaghetti dinner. LOL. This kid seriously needs a bath! #blessthismess #whatamIgoingtodowithher #wheretostart

What you want to post: Look at this kid. She is seriously the cutest. Not saying your kids aren’t cute, but you know... come on... #beautifulbaby #lookwhatwemade #looksjustlikeme

woman looking beautiful as she looks at her phone
Photography by Michael Spring ©

What you post: My husband took this photo of me when I wasn’t looking! Looks like he got a good angle! #nofilter #sunnydayz #goodhairday

What you want to post: This picture was taken before I had kids. I haven’t worn my hair down or pants without an elastic waistband since as far back as I can remember. #filterplease #don’ttakemypicture #notime 

woman taking a selfie at her desk
Photography by Oleg Shelomentsev ©

What you post: First day back to work since my vacation! Missing my kiddies so much! #lazydays #lovemykids #backtothegrind

What you want to post: You call this work? This is NOTHING compared to spending 24/7 with my kids for a whole week! #peaceatlast #relaxingatwork #kidfreezone

birthday party with a bunch of kids
Photography by Wavebreak Media Ltd ©

What you post: What a fun birthday party that was! Can’t wait to have all my daughter’s friends to the house again really soon! #littlegents #littlewomen #precious

What you want to post: They are never coming back. I found cupcakes in my bed, pizza under the couch and glitter in my fridge. #neveragain #raisedbywolves #outsourcetheparty

kid with messy hands
Photography by akz ©

What you post: Can’t believe how much my little man is growing up! #wheredidthetimego #bigboy #growingup

What you want to post: OMG! I just realized in fourteen  #wheredidthetimego #reminiscing #stoptheclock

Article Author Laura Mullin
Laura Mullin

Read more from Laura here.

Laura Mullin is a published playwright and writer and the Co-Artistic Director of the award-winning company, Expect Theatre. She is also the Co-Host and Producer of PlayME, a podcast that transforms plays into audio dramas now on CBC. She has worked in theatre, film, and television and lives in Toronto with her writer/producer husband and pre-teen daughter. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @expectlaura.

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