6 Ways I Respond When People Ask How I Got Pregnant So Young

I get this question an extraordinary amount of times. It’s inappropriate, awkward and kind of weird: HOW did I get pregnant?

I got pregnant young so I understood questions like, “What are you going to do about school?” But to be asked how I got pregnant feels way out of line. Here are my cathartic responses (some a little inappropriate).

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“I can’t really remember which position they were conceived in, but once I figure it out, I’ll let you know.”

When someone asks me how I got pregnant, I always wonder what that’s even supposed to mean. What position did we use? How many times did we do it? Did we rub a fertility statue, wait for the full moon, avoid sweeping under the bed and eat yams and honey a bunch?

“I had no idea you could get pregnant by having sex! Boy, was I wrong.”

Nothing like playing dumb, right? This usually gets me a little smile. I don’t know if it’s an “oh, that’s funny” smile or an “oh, honey...” smile, but either way it works. It may seem like I completely missed out on sex ed, science class, the talk and a little common sense, but hey, if they had common sense they wouldn’t be asking how I got pregnant, right?

“He has some pretty mighty stuff…”

Pretty gross, I know. But honestly, what’s the best way to shut someone down and get them to stop being nosy besides making them uncomfortable? I’ve used this a couple times, and let me tell you: it works. I either get a look, or they’ll just laugh and move on.

“I accidentally washed our underwear together. Next thing I knew, I was pregnant.”

When I was five years old, I was told this was how women got pregnant. I was terrified when my parents washed mine and my siblings’ clothes together. I didn’t want to wear underwear anymore! Which is a little too much information, but here we are. I really like shooting people this response.

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“I don’t know. I performed a solo, if you catch my drift, and it just happened!”

Maybe the most inappropriate of the bunch? I’m not sure, but inappropriate for sure. I wouldn’t recommend using this with people like your parents, their parents or any grandparents. But when that opportunity does arise, I get very awkward glares.

“It wasn’t planned, but I don’t regret a thing. My child is the light of my life, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.”

This is the first thing I think whenever I’m asked. It’s true. I was very young when I had my daughter, but if I had the choice to go back, I wouldn’t change a thing. My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love her with all my heart.