31 (Easy?) Steps To Get Your Kids Dressed For Snow
BY ALICIA MCAULEY
PHOTOGRAPHY BY shsphotography © 123RF.COM
Feb 3, 2017
There are two types of people in Canada: those who enjoy winter, and those who do not. I am, for the most part, firmly in the latter group. Or, more accurately, I enjoy it for about a month and then start counting the days until spring. But as much as I’d like to channel my inner bear and hibernate until the season is over, most of my days are spent in the great outdoors with a snow-loving preschooler.
In truth, playing outside with your kids in the winter can be a lot of fun, even if cold weather isn’t your thing. Getting your kids dressed to play in the snow, though? That’s the tricky part. Luckily, I’ve devised a simple 31-step plan to help you streamline the process. (You’re welcome!)
1. Declare with great enthusiasm that it’s time to go outside and play in the snow!
2. Start singing your very best rendition of Do You Want to Build a Snowman? from Disney’s Frozen, much to your child’s delight.
3. Ask your child if they need to use the potty before going outside. (They assure you that they do not.)
4. Ask your child again if they need to use the potty before going outside, just to be sure that you’re on the same page. (They assure you that they definitely do not.)
5. Help your child wiggle into their snow pants.
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6. Wait patiently while your child attempts to put on winter boots with no assistance.
7. Daydream about moving to a place with no snow. (Australia would be perfect this time of year…)
8. Wait patiently as your child removes winter boots and puts them on the correct feet.
9. Put on neck warmer and left mitten.
10. Realize that you only have the left mitten.
11. Spend 12 minutes attempting to find missing right mitten.
12. Locate mitten in silo of Fisher Price farm (along with three goldfish crackers and half a blue crayon).
13. Make a mental note to stock up on mittens before they completely disappear from stores during the first week of February. (Because who doesn’t want to buy shorts and swimsuits in the middle of a Canadian winter?)
14. Remain calm as your child announces that they need to go to the potty.
15. Remove your child’s snow pants and boots at lightning speed and race to the bathroom.
16. Wonder to yourself if potty training during winter is actually the worst idea you’ve ever had (while singing the potty song and clapping in encouragement).
17. Attempt to head back to pile of waiting snow gear. Make it two steps before your child insists that you return to the bathroom to affix a well-earned sticker to their potty chart.
18. Realize that you are out of stickers. Decide to improvise.
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19. Head to kitchen and peel sticker off of a random piece of fruit. Affix said fruit sticker to potty chart. Sticker crisis averted.
20. Mentally high five yourself for your quick thinking. You’re really nailing this whole parenting thing today.
21. Declare with great enthusiasm that it’s time to go outside and play in the snow!
22. Return to pile of snow gear. Start over.
23. Wait patiently while your child puts on winter coat and attempts to do up zipper with no assistance — while wearing mittens.
24. Wonder what the weather is actually like in Australia at this very moment.
25. Wait patiently while your child decides between two favourite toques.
26. Put on your boots.
27. Put on your scarf and toque.
28. Put on your coat and reach into the pocket to retrieve…
29. Realize that your gloves are in the car. Assure yourself that you can make a snowman without gloves, if it means moving this process along with no further delays. You can do this. Your will is stronger than frostbite.
30. Declare with great enthusiasm that it’s (finally!) time to go outside and play in the snow!
31. Remind yourself that spring will be here before you know it. But, just in case, make a mental note to check the cost of a plane ticket to Australia.
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