Woman hopes to break down cultural barriers to sexual assault discussion in Tamil community
A Toronto woman says she wants to draw upon her own experience to break down the stigma she says still surrounds discussion of sexual assault in the Tamil community.
A 28-year-old woman, who cannot not be named due to a publication ban, alleges she was sexually assaulted by a Scarborough photographer as teenager when she in a photo session to commemorate Samathiya Veedu, a Tamil celebration to mark a girl's coming of age, she said in a widely-shared Facebook post.
Toronto police charged Sinnarajah Sivasubramaniam with three counts of sexual assault and three counts of sexual interference last week.
Sivasubramaniam declined to speak to CBC News for this story.
Different language
The woman told CBC News that she first started talking about her experience with a counsellor in university. While she says she's always been open with her friends, she only recently talked to her parents about what she told Toronto police several weeks ago.
That's both because of the stigma in the Tamil community around discussing sexual assault, she says — and there can also be a language barrier between children who may have different mother tongues.
"There's an implication — and I feel this is across the board for all Tamil people — that it's not to be talked about," she told host Matt Galloway on Metro Morning.
Her own parents never talked to her about sexual abuse when she was younger. She says she still doesn't know the correct word for male or female genitals in her parents' native language, or even the words "sexual abuse".
"They were very shocked," she said upon telling her parents about the alleged abuse. "Initially there was a lot of silence. The first two days there was a lot of silence and then the third day they started talking and asking some questions. Now they are standing by me and support me."
Going public on social media
But the woman hopes that she can work with teenagers in the Toronto Tamil community to talk about those things together — and to create a counseling network to help others to find a way to share their own experiences.
Since recounting her allegations on Facebook a week ago, she has heard from dozens of people commenting on her strength and thanking her for speaking out.
"One of the things that childhood sexual abuse strips you of is your voice," she said. "And so me putting my face on it, my voice. It was reclaiming, it was empowering and it was so liberating."
The post has since been shared more than 350 times. The woman says that it's reached numerous others who have written to her privately to share their own accounts and that it's been powerful to connect with them.
"It means so much to me. It has been hidden for so long," she said. "I really feel like my voice is being carried...my community was helping me being louder and stronger."