Saskatoon

'I felt alone': Saskatoon woman shares story of miscarriages online

Saskatoon's Kelsey Connell is opening up online about her struggles with infertility and pregnancy to let women know that they are not alone.

Kelsey Connell, who suffered 2 miscarriages, opens up about grieving, struggles with infertility on blog

Kelsey Connell says she had trouble conceiving a second child following the birth of her first, Claire. (Submitted by Kelsey Connell)

Going through a miscarriage can be an extremely painful and isolating experience — especially if it occurs more than once.

That's what happened to Saskatoon's Kelsey Connell. And she's trying to help other women in the same situation by writing about her experience.

Following the birth of her first child, Connell and her husband tried to conceive a second, using many fertility methods along the way.

But two subsequent miscarriages left her devastated.

"I felt alone at that time and I didn't feel like there was a lot of resources available," she told CBC Radio's Saskatoon Morning.

She said although her friends, family and husband showed her their love and support, it was tough to find someone who could relate to what she was going through both physically and emotionally.

"I think I probably heard 'everything happens for a reason' 50 times," said Connell.  

"In that moment, when your body is changing and your hormones are trying to get back to normal and you're trying to deal with the grief of the loss, you don't want to hear that."

That's when she decided to open up about her grieving process online, blogging about her personal struggles with infertility and pregnancy loss.

"I just wanted women to know that they are not alone. I am here with you and there's a lot of other women going through this as well," she said.

Common problem

According to Dr. Adrian Gamelin, medical director at Saskatoon's Aurora Reproductive Care, fertility problems such as miscarriages are more common than people think.

She said couples are often hesitant to share news of their loss because historically, issues surrounding women's health were deemed taboo, and that mentality has carried forward throughout the years.

Dr. Adrian Gamelin, medical director at Saskatoon's Aurora Reproductive Care, says fertility problems are more common than people think. (Dragan Grkic/Shutterstock)
"I think as a society, we should encourage women to share their stories and encourage women to be open about what they're going through so that ... you don't feel like you're the only person who is going through this," Dr. Gamelin said.

She said a good way to cope would be to reach out for help, whether through local support groups, your doctor or a counsellor.

Connell noted that the best thing a person can do to help is to lend an ear.

"You don't necessarily have to say something," she said. 

"Just be there, listen and love that person. You don't have to be the fixer and offer up the stats and the stories of other people that you've heard about."

About the Author

Victoria Dinh

CBC Saskatoon reporter

Victoria Dinh is a journalist with CBC Saskatoon. She is also a co-host, writer and producer of the CBC investigative podcast, The Pit. Get in touch with Victoria by emailing victoria.dinh@cbc.ca

With files from CBC Radio's Saskatoon Morning