Nfld. & Labrador

A Bell Island woman wrote her own obituary — and it's hilarious

Kathleen Hearn passed away on Thursday, but not before penning her own obituary and thanking "all those who were part of my life and the butt of my jokes."

'I now have the smoking hot body I have always wanted… having been cremated,' wrote Kathleen Hearn

Kathleen Hearn passed away on Thursday, but penned her own heartfelt and funny obituary. (Hickey's Funeral Home)

Kathleen Hearn's obituary isn't your average death notice.

"It pains me to admit it, but apparently, I have passed away …  I now will check the obituaries and finally see my name there," it reads.

Hearn died on Thursday, but not before she penned her own obituary, one full of wit and wry humour.

Katheen's sister-in-law, Dorothy Hearn, says she wasn't surprised by the obit. 

"I expected nothing less from her than to do her own obituary and have a few jokes thrown in," she said.

Kathleen Hearn was outgoing, funny and loving, her sister-in-law Dorothy Hearn says. (Submitted by Dorothy Hearn)

Dorothy said she didn't get to see the obit before it was published, but was "just blown away" when she read it.

She said Kathleen had an unpredictable and sometimes shocking sense of humour — as her obituary shows.

"As I leave you all behind, I want to thank all those who were part of my life and the butt of my jokes," Kathleen wrote.

"In the meantime, I now have the smoking hot body I have always wanted… having been cremated."

'Kathy was Kathy'

In the 40 years that she knew Kathleen, Dorothy said it was nothing but laughs when they were together.

"Kathleen was full of life. From the moment we met her, until her last breath, Kathy was Kathy," she said.

"She was outgoing, funny, loving, a sense of humour like no other person you could meet. Very loveable."

Dorothy said Kathleen even held a contest to choose an obit, but decided to write her own instead.

"She just had a couple of other people write an obituary to see which one would be the best one, but of course she went with her own. She knew that from the beginning anyway, it was just a fun thing to do," she said.

Kathleen had her fair share of tough times in her life, Dorothy said, like her husband Mack's battle with multiple sclerosis and his death at just 45 years old. 

Kathleen Hearn with her husband Mack. (Submitted by Dorothy Hearn)

But through it all, including her own battle with cancer, she said Kathleen took it all in stride.

"There was never a down day in her life. No matter what came at her, it was a laugh. She dealt with it like no one I have ever known," Dorothy said.

"Even during her chemo at the Health Sciences [Centre], the staff there were in constant laughter … she just didn't let anything get her down."

Even after her sister-in-law's passing, Dorothy Hearn said she's glad Kathleen's humorous obituary could put a smile on people's faces.

"She walked in and the whole atmosphere changed. She was a constant riot, you didn't know what she was going to say next," she said.

"There will never be another Kathy."

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