Alberta can survive the zombie apocalypse
Western Canada well-positioned to withstand the walking dead
If the thought of brain-hungry corpses coming back from the dead leaves you in a cold sweat — fear not (or at least, not so much).
Alberta appears to have what it takes to survive a zombie apocalypse.
According to an apocalyptic ranking devised by Estately Real Estate Search, if the walking dead rise up and try to take over the world, western Canada is well-positioned to withstand the invasion.
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Alberta came in sixth among the provinces and territories on the list, ahead of Nova Scotia and Manitoba.
Still, Albertans who really want to defeat the undead should perhaps hit the road, said Ryan Nickum, a content marketer for the real estate blog.
"The Yukon, Northwest Territories, Saskatchewan and Nunavut are the safest," Nickum said during a Wednesday morning interview on Edmonton AM.
"Generally, heading north is the best way to survive."
In the end, the Yukon is the best equipped to fend off the zombie menace, whereas Prince Edward Island is destined to be an all-you-can-eat brain buffet, and Eastern Canada looks to be doomed.
What makes the West more resistant to the walking dead?
Nickum's macabre analysis was based on five criteria: population density, gun owners per capita, the percentage of dead who are cremated instead of buried, the percentage of the population who are physically active and interest in zombie media genre.
Nickum used Google trends — which tracks Google search data by region — to quantify each population's zombie-fighting prowess.
"The people who are Googling those things are likely watching those shows and probably learning how to fight and feed zombies based on shows like The Walking Dead."
Estately is an American-based company that aims to advise people on the best places to live (who knew zombies had an impact on property values?).
And though the data is real, Nickum acknowledges the prospect of a global zombie invasion is pure nonsense.
But not all of his readers are quite so skeptical about the end of the world.
"I'm amazed with how seriously people take this," said Nickum. "From the comments we've seen on this article and the Facebook page, there are some people out there with a scary level of knowledge about zombies.
"People get pretty technical about it. Some argue that the cremation thing isn't accurate, because some people think the zombie apocalypse will be started because of some sort of virus.
"And we get people who are angry because we've said their state isn't prepared, and then they spend some time telling you how they're preparing for it.
"And you're just sitting there thinking, these are real people who are spending their time preparing for something that isn't real."
A new terror
And though he won't be preparing for the invasion, Nickum said he and many fellow Americans are preparing to flee a different kind of terror.
"I'm not sure whether you've been following our election down here, but there are a number of us, depending on how things go ... Canada is looking very inviting.
"It's not going to hurt right now to endear ourselves to our Canadian neighbours to the north."