Calgary

5 Christmas toys not to buy, parent survival edition

What do you get when you combine off-key singing, hydrogenated oil splatter, hair-snarling sticky balls and, well, poo? The worst Christmas ever, at least for parents.

Kids will love these gifts, but older members of the household, not so much

What do you get when you combine off-key singing, hydrogenated oil splatter, hair-snarling sticky balls and, well, poo? The worst Christmas ever, at least for parents.

Tamara Schroeder, a local blogger, has provided what she calls a public service for parents, alerting them to the absolute worst toys. The kids might love them, but you most certainly will not.

1. Meowsic Keyboard

This one comes from personal experience for Schroeder, whose younger brother gave it to her daughter a few years ago. 

"It plays several different sounds, the worst being a scale of cat meows," she says. "It also has an off-key version of La Cucaracha being sung by a child, which is always fun."

It also comes with a microphone. 

Verdict? Don't buy this. 

2. Pie Face

Watching someone get a pie in the face is hilarious. Less funny is trying to clean hydrogenated oil from ones brow, or couch, or wall, or carpet, or all of the above. 

"It's just what every parent wants, a gift that gives them more to clean up this season," says Schroeder.

Verdict? Do not buy this.

3. Elsa doll, the singing version

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"Let it Go" should just be gone already, amiright? 

"That just made the list though pure saturation," says Schroeder, who notes this one also comes with a mic. "I think every parent has heard the "Let it Go" song at least 400 times and so I can't imagine they'd want to hear it another 350, as a duet."

Verdict? My God, do not buy this.

4. Bunchems

Is digging gum out of your child's hair too passe? Are you looking for the next big thing in tangled hair knots? Well, Schroeder has the product for you.

"It sounds great. You can make all kinds of little animals and shapes with them. Except if they happen to get caught in hair, usually a girls hair, they stick, they stick really tight and they're horrible to get out," says Schroeder.

"You just can't put a price on that kind of joy, can you?"

No, no you can't.

Verdict? Seriously, just don't.

5. Poo Dough

Relive the joy of toilet training or summon the memory of a recent trip to an outhouse with this little gem that creates "lovely, lifelike version of poo."

"At least this one doesn't smell, I'll give it that," says Schroeder. "At least, not that I know of."

Kids will love this one. Parents, however, might not want to have to determine the origin of that brown thing on the floor. 

Verdict? Well, it is kind of funny.....

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