Nicholas Rasberry murder trial: watch the police interview

"I've been going over it a million times in my head, like what could I do differently?” In newly released video of a police interview, Nicholas Rasberry tearfully says the man he’s accused of killing had him by the throat before a night of drunken fun ended in a fatal stabbing.

WARNING: Graphic details included in video interview, which judge deemed admissable as evidence

This photo of Craig Kelloway, left, and Nicholas Rasberry, taken at 10:36 p.m. was entered into evidence at the trial. The 911 call Rasberry made, saying he had stabbed Kelloway multiple times, was placed at around 11:30 p.m. (Courtroom Exhibit)

The judge in the Nicholas Rasberry second-degree murder trial has ruled that a video-taped interview with the accused is admissible as evidence.

During the two-and-a-half-hour video, Rasberry tearfully tells a Calgary police detective that he didn't want the victim to die but that he feared for his safety after being threatened.

Craig Kelloway was stabbed to death at Rasberry's house in early May 2013.

According to Rasberry, Kelloway pinned him up against a kitchen counter with his fist in his face and said he was going to beat up Rasberry unless he let Kelloway have sex with him.

"It's like, just everything changed. Mood, you know. I was drunk having fun and then all of a sudden I was sober," Rasberry tells the detective. "He had me by the throat with my shirt twisted up, and up against my counter and, like, had his one hand always by my face threatening to punch me, telling me to stop moving and to, like, let him have sex with me."

Rasberry said he was able to grab a knife and began to stab the victim in the back. A total of three knives were used, although Rasberry is unclear on that point in the interview, saying it was a blur.   

Rasberry maintains that he acted appropriately and says he snapped when Kelloway allegedly said "your wife is upstairs, she's next."

He also maintained that he didn't want to kill Kelloway.

"I've been going over it a million times in my head, like what could I do differently? Like, the coffee maker's there, could I grab the coffee pot, we have a toaster, like, what could I have done differently?" he said to the detective. 

"He's got a five-month old baby. And like, my wife's okay and I'm here and I'm happy about that, but I just wish there was something else, you know. And like if I hadn't been drinking, would I have been able to diffuse the situation, you know? Or would the situation even happen?"

The case continues on Wednesday with testimony from the medical examiner. It is expected to wrap up on Thursday.

Police interview Nicholas Rasberry in stabbing death of Craig Kelloway. 2:40
Police interview Nicholas Rasberry in this interrogation video from his second-degree murder trial. 1:09