Witch, please! Rapper Azealia Banks sacrifices live chickens in her closet. For real.
If you were busy making merry over the holidays, lighting menorahs, trimming trees and/or chugging everything from eggnog to champagne, you may have missed potty-mouthed rapper Azealia Banks' Instagram post where she shared her festive tradition: ritualistic blood magic.
As a practitioner of Brujeria, a form of witchcraft most popular among Latin Americans and some African Americans, Banks has been sacrificing live chickens in her closet for three years now. How novel.
That she was in her closet is no surprise. The Covenant of the Goddess website claims there's an "estimated 200,000 Witches and/or Neo-Pagans in the US alone." They also state there may be "many more, who are simply more private about their religion, for the very real fear of persecution. Witches are still working hard for our First Amendment rights." Memories of Salem dying hard, no doubt.
Banks posted a pretty graphic Instagram video where she is apparently doing some home improvement with a sand blaster. Maybe it was an attempt to come out of her blood stained, chicken feather ridden closet.
Azealia Banks via instagram, cleaning the closet she's been performing brujeria for 3 years in. <a href="https://t.co/0OsoSdJynw">pic.twitter.com/0OsoSdJynw</a>—@AzealiaVideos
Unsurprisingly, PETA and whole lot of other folks were not impressed by the video and they took to Twitter to share in the finger wagging. If your impulse is to join them, remember that 46 million turkeys are eaten each Thanksgiving, 22 million on Christmas and 19 million turkeys on Easter. That's 65 million because Jesus, and over 20 million more because of the near genocide Europeans visited on Indigenous peoples. I'll stop preaching, but you got a little something in your teeth there. Yeah, it looks like a little chunk of hypocrisy. Wait, yup, no, lemme see, ya okay, no, you got it out. You're good.
Still, it's no surprise that people may be initially leary of neo-pagan ritual faiths. Other practices in Brujeria include creating dolls into which hair, fingernail clippings, or pieces of clothing are inserted to focus their dark will upon the tiny effigy. Q: How do you do that Voodoo that you do so well? A: Blood and human remains.
One tamer, and arguably kinder, spell involves an egg. You rub it all over your body then crack it at a crossroads and walk away. It's said to absorb and get rid of the bad energy of negative people messing with you. Likely with a doll made of your human hair. BTW, the egg spell is one of Banks' all time faves. Let the reader note that I'm refraining from chicken before egg puns. One of the resolutions I plan to crack. Sorry.
If you're not familiar with Banks, she had the raunchy break out hit 212 back in 2011 when she was just 19. Give it a listen. Explicit lyrics or not, the lady's got talent. For real. It's catchy AF and frankly gives Nicki Minaj a run for her guap. Minaj may want to start killing chickens. Just saying.
To be fair, the graphic video does bring up many questions. Is she renting? Because her landlord is gonna sh*t a bird when he finds out. Which Banks will almost certainly kill. What happens to those chickens after they're ritually slaughtered? Are they at least fed to hungry neighbourhood cats? Is my attraction to goth girls fated to grow ever stronger? Also, what will I say to Azealia Banks if I ever meet her?
Got it. 'Charmed, I'm sure.' And then, probably, 'I love your music, please don't make a tiny torture doll of me.'
Marc Beaulieu is a writer, producer and host of the live Q&A show guyQ LIVE @AskMen.