These 3 questions will help you write a better online dating profile
'Tis the season when many single people reconsider their relational status and start seeking new lovers and long term relationships. Some people view the holidays as the loneliest time of year but I see it as the best time to get out and meet somebody! There are more parties than usual to attend, more reasons to dress your best, and more people setting up online dating profiles than any other time of year.
I get stuck in the same place most people get stuck: writing my profile. I know how to tell a story about my life on Instagram but when it comes to writing about myself in a personal, romantic way, my writing skills fall flat.
What to write to describe yourself in the best way and connect you with the right person? After all, you don't need to connect with everyone — you need to connect with the right person for you. It's a tough writing assignment for anybody, no matter how well-written you are in other subjects.
I decided to consult a girlfriend with career expertise in relational therapy and dating. She helped me by asking me three questions: (1) What two qualities would they love most about you? (2) What do you do in your free time, and how does it make you feel? And (3) how would your ideal partner make you feel?
My answers uncovered the best things to write about in my profile to (hopefully) attract the best possible potential mate.
1) What two qualities would they love most about you?
Describe one thing that your friends and family often say they love about you, and one thing you especially love about yourself, and you'll be offering up some super descriptive stuff about what makes you unique. The answer to this question is all about framing the "feeling" of your personality and character to someone who is looking for you. The answer to this question is much richer than the common, "I like a night on the town" description because, what does that even mean!?
- I'm lively and energetic and I like to encourage friends and family to try new things with me
- I prefer to be easy going in life and with work because I don't really love confining schedules and environments
2) What do you choose to do, and how does it make you feel?
If you have an unexpected sunny afternoon off of work, what would you choose to do and how would it make you feel? The answer to this question will help your potential mate visualize spending time with you. Again, this is so much more than "Netflix and chill" because those are habits, not activities that make your heart sing.
- If I have an unexpected break in the afternoon, I'll go on a long bike ride because it makes me feel energized!
- After work I'm off to the the pub to meet my best friend for a beer. He's hilarious and brings me back down to earth after a hectic day at work.
3) How Would Your Ideal Partner Make You Feel?
Meditation and manifestation are super trendy right now but there's something huge to be said for using your mindset to create the life you want. Plus, if you can narrow down how your ideal partner would make you feel, you'll become seriously more adept at knowing who won't work for you. When you know exactly how that person will make you feel then you're already one step closer to their arrival:
- My ideal partner will help me feel powerful and capable to achieve my career goals
- My ideal partner will help me feel upbeat and laid-back in love
The last piece of excellent advice given to me was to pass a draft of my profile to my best friend for editing. For grammar and spelling mistakes, yes, but mostly for accuracy! Who better to write about your best qualities, and about the perfect partner for you, than your best friend?