Wellness

5 Ways to deal with heartbreak

Breakups are the worst. Remember that what you’re feeling won’t last, and read on for tips for feeling better in the meantime.
(Credit: Matthew Henry/Upsplash)

Breakups are the worst. It's scientifically proven that the end of a relationship is similar to experiencing a death. Regardless of how long the relationship lasted, when it ends, it can really mess with your emotions. Not to mention, heartbreak is only enhanced by other crap things that come with it, like unexpected changes to your lifestyle, the feeling that you've (temporarily, don't worry) lost a piece of your identity, added stress and feelings of rejection. Here is some tried and true advice that might help you deal with heartbreak, and provide a little comfort if you need it.

Let Yourself Feel All the Feelings

After a breakup, people feel a wide range of emotions, from anger and sadness to loneliness, regret, guilt and rejection. All of these feelings are ok, and they're all totally normal. It's important to let yourself feel it all, as hard as it might be, because dealing with your emotions now will serve you far better in the long run. Ultimately, feeling the pain and taking the time to reflect now can actually help you heal faster and prevent you from dwelling. Be sure to surround yourself with people (or even just one person) that you can talk honestly and openly to. Incorporating music while you're feeling it out is also a great idea (note: we strongly recommend Beyoncé's Lemonade).

Avoid Alcohol

While the natural inclination might be to drown your sorrows in copious amounts of wine, you're way better off skipping the booze all together. We all know that alcohol is a downer, and that's definitely not what you need in your life right now. Take a break from booze and try to focus on your needs, and regaining your sense of self. You might not want to feel your emotions at first, but pushing them down with multiple vodka sodas is only going to make them come back even stronger eventually. In order to get over the initial pain of heartbreak, you really do have to feel it, and try your best to go through the painful stages sober.

Social Media Detox

Some say unfollow, we say unfriend. Research shows that the brain of the heartsick is similar to those going through cocaine withdrawal. Love is truly like a drug - when you see or talk to someone you love, this only intensifies your desire for them. You literally crave them. This also might explain why some of us feel (and act!) kind of crazy initially after a breakup. This goes for social media and IRL, too. Cut. It. Off. You really don't need to see your ex's face pop up in your newsfeed, and it's time to stop caring about what they're doing in their spare time (without you). Besides, why do you want to keep looking behind you? There's nothing back there for you! Move forward instead.

Exercise

Exercise is perhaps the best thing you can do for yourself when you're feeling blue. While you might want to crawl in a hole and die (at first), we strongly encourage you to keep moving instead. Exercise can help clear your mind, and is scientifically proven to help combat symptoms of depression. Whatever kind of exercise you choose - running, yoga, swimming - just know that you're better off doing it, and it will make you feel exponentially better, mentally and physically. Which brings us back to Beyoncé: Lemonade is also a really amazing album to listen to while emotion-fuelled jogging.

Remember: Time Heals All

This is a hard one to hear at first, but oh, is it ever true. As Uma Thurman once put it: "When I was first going through my separation, someone said to me, 'It will take you half as long as you were in the relationship before you'll feel better.' And I wanted to knock them out cold across the table. Because, of course, I was in agony. And the last thing I wanted to think was that I was going to stay that way for a long time. But interestingly enough...I finally feel like, cool. I feel better." Remember that whatever you're feeling in this moment won't last forever. You will come out on the other side, and you might just end up being happier. Plus, studies show that single people may actually be happier than those who are attached. And also: there is always tomorrow. Thank goodness for that.

One last piece of advice for the brokenhearted: do yourself a favour and subscribe to Notes From the Universe and start every day on a positive note. Be gentle with yourself, and try to focus on good vibes only from here on out.

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