The Goods·Relationships

Decoding your most confusing text messages

Is someone you're dating sending you literal mixed messages, in the form of strange texts? We're here to help.
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There are so many mixed messages when it comes to relationships and dating, and now that texting has become a main form of communication, things have gotten even more confusing. Have you ever gotten a text from someone you're dating that was too difficult to decipher?  We're here to help. Members of our audience wrote in with their mystifying messages, and our hosts got to work decoding them. 

"I met up with a guy who I'd been talking to and texting with daily and we decided to do so again, which was great! On the day we were supposed to see each other, I texted him and asked if he was still good to meet up. And then nothing! The next morning I wake up to a text saying: 'Apparently my phone doesn't want to send you texts.' I replied and said: 'Weird. No worries.' But, now it's been a week and not a peep out of him. What does this mean?"

Our take: This is an example of a 'flake-out' text. Yes, there is a chance that he missed your text. But, since this has happened twice, we think that you should move on to someone who will be more consistent with you. You deserve it, after all! If you do want to respond, play it cool — like you weren't even thinking about it — and maybe next time, if he does care, he'll pay better attention.

Women are more likely than men to "like" Facebook posts (Credit: iStock/Getty Images)

"I was dating this guy. We went out a few times in a month and then POOF he was gone. Then, after 3-4 weeks of no communication, he rose from the grave! I get a generic text from him saying, 'Hey how are you?' If I want him back, what should I say to let him know that I don't put up with this kind of ghosting behaviour?"

Our take: This is what we call the 'back from the dead' text. It's very similar to the flake-out text. It's not cool for someone you've been dating to just disappear. If you do really care for him, you should respond — but you need to talk to him about the ghosting. There is a bigger conversation to be had, and it's best not to do it over text.

"I met this guy at a party and he seemed cool. We made out most of the night. He's texted me a couple times since, but always late at night. One text from 10:53pm said: 'Hey I'm in a bar with a bunch of friends. What are you doing now?' Then, the next night I got another text at 11:27pm saying: 'Hey — Are you out?' I haven't responded to either. What should I say if I actually want to get to know him a little bit better before hooking up?"

Our take: This one is easy to decode — it's a classic booty call text. If someone is texting you late at night they may only want one thing for you. If you are okay with that, then go for it, text back! But, if you're looking for something more lasting, this might not be the relationship for you. Someone who wants to actually date you will ask you out earlier, take you to dinner. They'd do a bit more planning that just saying s'up.

Something that's related to the booty call text is the 'unprompted sext.' When someone texts you randomly with…. let's say their most intimate parts. Both men and women do this, and when they do, they generally want something similar in return. Our advice if you do engage: never show your face. You don't know where these pics can end up, so better safe than sorry!

Have you ever gotten a text from someone you're dating that was difficult to decipher? Tell us all about it on our Facebook page.