Comedy·2017

What a dummy! George Orwell off by 33 whole years!

Well, this is embarrassing.

WORLDWIDE—Well, this is embarrassing. With the Trump administration in power, it looks like SOMEONE was a little off when predicting his dystopian future! BY LIKE, 33 YEARS. Awkward!

So, Orwell's "Oceania" is ruled by an authoritarian party that openly lies to its people so that they can control them? Whoops! Missed that one by three decades. NICE TRY, THOUGH.

Oh, and how do they do this in the year 1984, Georgie? By "telescreens" that everyone has to have that both bombard them with propaganda and monitor their activity. Sure, I really remember my TV in 1984 monitoring my every move. I guess I'd just turn on Murder She Wrote and Jessica Fletcher would see through the screen and go tell the government what I was doing. NOT!

And the year isn't the only thing he got way wrong. The leader of the party, Big Brother, enjoys a cult of personality, using the mass media and lies to construct his charismatic persona, consolidating his power by calling the leader of his opposition, Emmanuel Goldstein, the most dangerous man in the world.

EMMANUEL GOLDSTEIN? UM, NO, HER NAME IS HILLARY CLINTON AND SHE IS A WOMAN LAST TIME I CHECKED!

So I guess it's still gonna be a little while until pigs start reenacting the Russian Revolution. Because the first human-pig hybrid was only created LAST WEEK.

The mistakes don't end there. According to Mr. Orwell, "the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it. It was inevitable that they should make that claim sooner or later: the logic of their position demanded it.

Not merely the validity of experience, but the very existence of external reality was tacitly denied by their philosophy."

Um hello, Donald Trump never even talks about numbers! Except for when he demands we believe that an empirically small inauguration crowd is in fact the biggest one in history!

Then Orwell goes, "If human equality is to be forever averted—if the High, as we have called them, are to keep their places permanently—then the prevailing mental condition must be controlled insanity."

Okay, so he got ONE thing right. Sooooo, what does "Orwellian" mean, again? Bad at predicting? As in, "I thought the package would arrive four weeks ago but it only came today. How Orwellian!" Um, yeah. So I guess it's still gonna be a little while until pigs start re-enacting the Russian Revolution. Because the first human-pig hybrid was only created LAST WEEK.

SORRY YOU'RE SO BAD AT POLITICAL SATIRE, GEORGE!

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