Comedy·CLEVER

Twitter to tackle its problems of sexism, racism, harassment with new font

Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey announced the company will undertaking a series of changes immediately.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—After several years of complaints from its users that it doesn't adequately protect them from abuse on its platform, social media giant Twitter has vowed to take action.

In a press release issued yesterday, Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey announced that in response to these legitimate issues, the company will undertaking a series of changes immediately, beginning with the change from Helvetica Neue font to Verdana.

"I truly hope — and believe — that this will make our users more comfortable. It's a very homey, old-fashioned font, and I believe that it will show our clients that Twitter is a place for them to feel at home. It will also take the edge off the nasty messages that we don't plan on removing in any way."

Dorsey won't stop there, though, and says there is another change that will enable users to challenge the abusive messages of their tormentors.

"I have two words for you: bold and italic," he wrote.

"Pretty cool, huh? Users will now be able to use these rhetorical tools to reply to those who are bothering them, be they misogynists, alt-right trolls, or just simply bad people. You'll be able to use these clever tools to show that you really mean it when you say, 'Please leave me alone! @Twitter please do something about this!'"

"We are also hard at work on a potential underline function."

At press time, Twitter announced that it was hearing loud and clear the complaints of those who say these changes aren't enough, and logging their usernames to temporarily block them from the service.

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