The case for a dessert after breakfast
You've heard it from everyone for years, from your mother to your doctor to some nutritionist on a television commercial.
"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."
And we've heard it so often, it seems, that we've sort of come to accept it as a cold, hard fact.
What I am here to tell you is that from time to time, it is important to call this assumption, and indeed all scientific assumptions, into question.
Do I agree you need to "start your day off right"?
Oh you bet I do.
Do I agree that it's a bit counterproductive to eat one's biggest meal of the day at lunch, or even dinner, gaining all that precious energy with precious few hours left in the day to use it?
So what am I suggesting?
I am suggesting that despite the problematic aspects inherent in the later meals, we should actually borrow a page from dinner's playbook, and institute the most glorious possible meal in the morning: the Breakfast Dessert.
No doubt you've often heard people carp about the futility of eating heavy, sweet, carb-rich treats for breakfast, like pancakes, giant muffins, and delicious golden french toast.
"It will drain your energy! You'll want a nap!"
And those carpers are certainly right about one thing: you should absolutely not be eating a pile of fluffy, syrupy sweets for breakfast.
There's a time and a place for those things.
And that time is immediately after breakfast, and that place is the same chair you were already sitting in.
No longer will you sit around craving food all day, pining for the food groups you haven't delved into yet that day, because you've been through all of them — and before you leave the house no less.
I can hear you already. How dare I offer this advice? What have I ever done with my life? What are my accomplishments, that I believe I can tell you that my way in life is the correct one?
Oh, I'm just Bill Gates.
So. You know.
Try that on for size.
Look, I realize I don't actually look all that healthy despite my accomplishments and riches, but please ignore that part. And please join me for breakfast dessert tomorrow, in Seattle.
Sort of trying to turn it into a thing.