Sophie Kohn is writer and producer with CBC Comedy, a stand-up comedian in Toronto, and a graduate of Second City's Conservatory program.
Latest from Sophie Kohn
5 monster truck rallies that do NOT pass the Bechdel test
Sure, we’ve been applying this test to movies, TV shows, and books, but has anyone thought to apply it to monster truck rallies? No? Well, that massive oversight stops now.
Welcome, Medieval Times employees, to the Violence and Bullying in the Workplace seminar
Good morning, everyone. There’s coffee and muffins on the side table, so please help yourselves. I’m Pam! Welcome. I’ll be facilitating today’s workshop, Violence and Bullying in the Workplace.
FAKES AND PAINS
5 fraudulent remedies for imposter syndrome
None of these remedies will work, because they are just as fake and fraudulent as your career. But they sure are posing as legitimate solutions! So go ahead and try ‘em, how about!
4 geologic eras that will unfold while you wait for your coworker Barry to finish his goddamn story
Oh your actual god. Barry has cornered you again in the office kitchenette and launched into one of his sprawling anecdotes.
SOCK AND AWE
Boss gets angrier than whimsical pineapple socks technically allow
Those puppies were just covered in pineapples holding tiny electric guitars! What a fun man!
We get the point, air quotes. Here's how to use other air punctuation.
Air quotes are satisfying and useful conversational tools. But I regularly jolt out of bed at 4 a.m. drenched in sweat because of how much air punctuation we’re not taking advantage of.
GEE THANKS MAIL
I used only automated Gmail responses for one week. Here are the results!
Hope to see you and Gary soon!
I deeply alarmed my grandmother by bragging that Rick Moranis just started following me
The concern in her face deepened. She took my hand. “How — how long has he been following you?”
Reasons I got trapped in a Sephora for a period of 6.8 business years
The year was 2012. It was a calmer time, a hopeful time. Obama was president. We were all chortling heartily at Gangnam Style. And in February, I headed into the Sephora in downtown Toronto to quickly grab a moisturizer.
REPORT: 'Great, thanks!' most common response to horrifically disappointing haircut
The reason for this phenomenon seems to be people’s deep, all-consuming terror of hurting the feelings of the stylist,
I'm going to be 45 minutes late: the politics of a stranger on Facebook have suddenly become my whole world
The problem is that as of 1:47 p.m. this afternoon, I have made it my life’s work to convince a random stranger in the comments that we actually don’t need meat or dairy for a healthy diet.
Gift ideas if the person's birthday falls brutally soon after you started dating
You go for dinner, catch a rad flick, and later when you’re at home adding her on Facebook, a piece of information flies out of the computer and punches you in the neck: her birthday is this weekend.
NEW STREET DRUG: A dealer falsely tells you Trump has been impeached
“A dealer meets you on a street corner, or in an alley, and tells you that President Trump has been impeached. Of course that’s not true, inexplicably, but for the minute or so that you believe it, a feeling of euphoria will course through your veins so hard that you’ll almost pass out from the high.”
The Great Canadian Decluttering
Canada has a bunch of things lying around that I don’t think we really need anymore. Maybe they were important to us when we first acquired them, but now? We’re long overdue for a little streamlining.
QUIZ: Who's thirstier for updates? Adobe Acrobat or your Jewish grandmother since you started dating?
Look, one of them has a button that says “Remind Me Tomorrow” and one of them doesn’t even give you that option because the only option is to UPDATE HER RIGHT NOW.