Polkaroo at a loss for word
TORONTO, ON—Sources close to beloved psychedelic-marsupial-based-nightmare-type-thing Polkaroo, star of the hit TVO show Polka Dot Door, report today that after exclusively uttering his own name every single day for decades on end, Polkaroo is finally at a loss for word.
"I think he just sort of hit a wall with everything going on in the world these days," explains co-star Cindy Cook, long-time host of the show.
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"You know, it's Trump, it's climate change, it's police brutality, it's our overburdened healthcare system, it's the rise of empty right-wing rhetoric we're starting to see spreading all over the world. He just kind of maxed out."
Cook says the incident happened yesterday morning – a day that began like any other.
"We were having breakfast, which for us means an imaginary tea party in the utility closet in the basement of the TVO warehouse. So there we were, miming eating and drinking," explains Cook, who is alarmingly gaunt. "And Polkaroo, as he always does, began flipping through an imaginary Globe and Mail."
Cook says that normally, Polkaroo will react to the day's news with a series of dramatic "PolkaROOOOOOs" of various intonations, meant to signify a truly wild array of emotional states.
Yesterday, however, Polkaroo went dead quiet, and has remained speechless ever since. His colleagues have so far been unable to get inside his head or determine what he's thinking about.
At press time, a visibly emotional Cook explained that she missed him.
"Again," she added tearfully.
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