Comedy·SO NICE

Photo of Trudeau feeding baby sparrows with his mouth breaks internet

“The internet has only broken a handful of times and never at this magnitude. Incredible,” Cassel says.

HUNTSVILLE, ON—A photo of one Justin Trudeau feeding baby birds directly with his mouth has "broken the internet," says digital expert Artie Cassel, who monitors the internet and reports back when it breaks.

"The internet has only broken a handful of times and never at this magnitude. Incredible," Cassel says.

The photo, depicting the shirtless Canadian prime minister in the forest using his mouth to feel day-old sparrow chicks, has gone viral.

"I love Justin Trudeau," says Jenny Pilkins from Rockford, Illinois, who admits she knows nothing of Liberal Party policies or Canadian politics in general. "I'm kind of aroused and also kind of want to barf at the same time. Why is he doing this?"

Millions were asking the same question, until the meme's photographer, bird-watching enthusiast and Huntsville resident Barbra Cobb, stepped forward. "I've been watchin' bird nearly 50 years now. 'Watchin' bird' is what we call 'watching birds' in the bird-watching community," says Cobb. "In all my many years, this was by far the strangest thing I've ever seen. Actually, it was the only strange thing I've seen. Bird-watching is excruciatingly uneventful."

Upon discovering the photo, Cobb uploaded it to a bird-watching forum.

"I was walking through Algonquin National Park when I came across a non-bird, I mean man, who was nourishing sparrow chicks using pre-mastication – or pre-chewing and feeding with one's mouth, to the lay non-bird," Cobb recounts. "I snapped a photo. I wanted to ask him some questions, but he was startled by the shutter and disappeared into the bush with the grace of a fawn."

"I don't eat worms, okay?" Trudeau explained this morning at a press conference in Ottawa. "It was the summer and I was on a shirtless hike through Algonquin, or 'Gonkers' as we used to call it. I stumbled upon a nest of baby birds abandoned by their mother. So I lived in the forest and cared for them. Every day, I dug up worms and chewed them into a smooth paste, carefully feeding each chick with my lips. I warded off predators at night whilst laying naked by the nest, warming the baby birds with my body. By the end of the summer they had grown enough to fend for themselves. The whole experience changed my perspective on life. I took those birds under my wing, if you will, but in the end? They took me under theirs."

Trudeau pauses to wipe a single tear from his cheek.

"Any questions?"

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