Comedy·2 BSB OR NOT 2 BSB

'Nay, I Desireth It In That Manner' and other Backstreet Boys songs rewritten by Shakespeare

Ev’rybody Verily!

1.

I Want It That Way

Thou art

Mine own blessed flame

The lone,

sweet personage I do eternally covet

Believeth at which trembling hour it departeth mine lips:

Nay, I desireth it in that most particular manner

Bid me wherefore!

'Tis nothing besides true anguish, lo, deep within the chambers of mine heart

Bid me wherefore!

Forsooth, 'tis naught other than a mortal error in judgment

Bid me wherefore!

Never shall I seeketh that most distressing of thine sounds to fall verily upon mine ears:

Nay, I desireth it in that most particular manner!

2.

Everybody

Ev'rybody

Verily!

Rocketh thy divine corporal form

Verily!

Ev'rybody!

Rocketh thy divine corporal form most c'rrectly!

Backstreet hath returneth

Very well!

O mine very own Lord,

they hath returneth an additional time

Cherished comrades! Women!

All must revel in the very majesty of birdsong!

I will endeavour to delivereth to thee the most precious and fleeting spice

And yea, demonstrateth my particular manner of being

Verily, I beseech thee, and please respondeth at once:

Do I appear to thine eyes as singular within mine constitution and character?

(Yea!)

Is there nary an additional soul of which thou may speaketh?

(Yea!)

Do I conjur in thine mind that most amorous of physical passions?

(Yea!)

Am I all things thou requireth

Thou had'st best make haste to rocketh thine corporal form c'rrectly!

Ev'rybody

Verily!

Rocketh thy divine corporal form

Verily!

Ev'rybody

Rocketh thy divine corporal form c'rrectly

Backstreet hath returneth!

Very well!

3.

Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)

Within the confines of mine heart

I do regardeth:

Thou art failing to remain steadfast to mine own self!

Within the very depths of mine soul

I do feeleth

Nary a thing may exist in its previous form

Oft, I do wish I possessed within me this most noblest of powers:

To rev'rseth the cruel, unflinching hands of time itself

Impossible though it seemeth

Yea, do I hope upon hope for this!

Fervently!

O, quaint mistress

I beg of thee:

Cease engaging in reckless merriment with mine heart

(Mine heart)

Lest, with brutal force, thou teareth us two asunder!

(Mine heart)

Cease engaging in reckless merriment with mine heart

(Mine heart)

It behooveth me to admit I shouldst has't known from the very appearance of the first dawn

(From mine heart)

Art thou not aware that thou needeth cease, yea f'rev'rmore??

(Mine heart)

Lest, with brutal force, thou teareth us two asunder

(Mine heart)

Cease engaging in reckless merriment with mine heart

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About the Author

Sophie Kohn

Writer/Producer

Sophie Kohn is writer and producer with CBC Comedy, a stand-up comedian in Toronto, and a graduate of Second City's Conservatory program.