Comedy·PERFECT MATCH

Man late for job interview with TTC hired immediately

When Bill Smitherson strolled in 1.5 hours late for his job interview with the TTC yesterday, hiring manager Rick Beland knew they had their man.

TORONTO, ON—When Bill Smitherson strolled in 1.5 hours late for his job interview with the TTC yesterday, hiring manager Rick Beland knew they had their man.

"We interviewed four other people and he was by far the latest," explains Beland. "Some people just have it."

Other interviewees had extensive experience working with New York City transit, but weren't hired for fear of the immense effort that would be required to retrain them out of their bad habits.

During the interview, Smitherson nailed the other criteria one might expect.

Asked his greatest weakness, Smitherson said, "Transit." Asked where he wants to be in five years, he made outlandish claims about being the best employee in the world with no clear plan or resources to get there.

Smitherson had also somehow obtained a TTC uniform, which meant all training had effectively already been completed.

"He holds the same values that we at the TTC hold," explains Beland. "He's late every day, he has that real 'can't do' attitude, and he strives to say that he's looking to improve but makes no measurable effort to do so."

Even as a child, Smitherson exhibited traits that would ultimately lead him to his future career.

"When he played with his model train set, he was always doing random maintenance on it instead of just driving it," explains Smitherson's mother, Deborah. "The trains would basically never run."

Today was Smitherson's first day on the job. This morning he announced that he was running behind and that he'd update his boss as more information became available.

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