Justin Trudeau forced to admit he brought in Joe Trudeau, expert handshaker
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After a leak by Donald Trump's press secretary Sean Spicer, Prime Minister of Canada Justin Trudeau has been forced to admit that he sent lookalike and strong-forearmed Joe Trudeau to Washington specifically to handle the opening handshake with Trump, which is what Trudeau knew was all anybody would focus on regarding the international visit.
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"We knew the handshake was the main thing," says James Grippe, an aide to the Prime Minister. "Honestly, I thought Justin could probably handle it. He's a strong guy! He opens jars none of us can handle, for instance. But in these large diplomatic meetings on an international scale, you can't take any chances. So yeah, we sent this guy instead."
Says Minister of International Trade Chrystia Freeland, "The original plan was actually to have Joe come in just for the handshake, then to rotate out and have Justin take over. But we then realized that Trump would probably try to 'win' the handshake several times. And as we now see, that's exactly what happened. They discovered our ruse eventually, but by then it didn't matter. He'd done his job. What a formidable hand-shaker."
"Over the course of a couple days, Joe actually became quite well-versed in international policy. Once this all blows over I'd actually trust him to come with me again, if we meet a particularly strong leader or aggressive shaker. I'm sure Putin fits the description. These are covert operations of course. I absolutely shouldn't be telling you this!" she said.
At press time, Joe Trudeau could not be reached for comment, though it's possible he accidentally crushes phones in his hand every time he tries to answer them.
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