Toronto man shatters world record by interrupting woman 67 times in five minutes
TORONTO, ON—Craig Peterson, a 35-year-old marketing executive, recently made international headlines and the Guinness Book of World Records when he successfully spoke over his female coworker, 28-year-old Christine Simmons, non-stop for five minutes during a board meeting at their Bay Street office. Numerous witnesses have confirmed Peterson's impressive feat.
Peterson says he wasn't sure at first that he was capable of breaking the previous world record.
"I mean, don't get me wrong," he laughs. "I've definitely verbally steam-rolled a woman before. At work. At parties. On dates. At funerals. While being interviewed for jobs. In my sleep. But I didn't know if I could keep yelling that loudly or quickly or ignorantly for that long. At the end of the day I just literally grabbed life by my balls and let her rip."
Peterson says he used several well-known proven silencing techniques to assist him in his accomplishment.
"I laughed over any valid point that she made," he explains. "I corrected her facts with information I half-remember reading on Twitter a bunch of years ago. At one point I just shouted the word 'No' 28 times in a row. I gave her a serious breakdown of what Facebook is and how it works. I demonstrated how to use a ballpoint pen. I even volunteered to show her how to urinate sitting down. You could say I'm an expert in female anatomy. Heh."
Peterson attributes his successful interrupting to work ethic and blind confidence.
"Look. It doesn't matter how many degrees you have or how much Internet you've read," he says. "It's about working hard and believing that you can interrupt. Christine's a sweetheart but I work hard. Also, my dad owns the company."
Peterson's male coworkers say they are proud of his incredible achievement and have erected a statue of him on the second floor directly beside the women's washroom.
Peterson tears up as he runs his hands over the smooth marble man screaming at a woman.
"This week I learned that if you set your mind to it, you can accomplish anything," he says. "That's a quote from Back to the Future. That's my favourite movie. I like that the men talk to each other a lot."
When Simmons was asked for comment, Peterson swiftly interrupted her.
"She loves it!" he explains.