Funny Stuff

Nintendo to release miniature NES just like the one dad bought you after leaving mom

Much to the delight of retro gamers everywhere, Nintendo announced Thursday that it was bringing back a mini version of the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), a wildly popular 8-bit gaming platform originally released in 1983, but which your dad bought in 1988, roughly four days after leaving your mom.

TOKYO, JAPAN—Much to the delight of retro gamers everywhere, Nintendo announced Thursday that it was bringing back a mini version of the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), a wildly popular 8-bit gaming platform originally released in 1983, but which your dad bought in 1988, roughly four days after leaving your mom.

The new system, which Nintendo has dubbed the "NES Classic Edition", will come with thirty built-in games like Kirby's Adventure, Castlevania, and Super Mario Bros. 3, all three of which your dad got you in an attempt to assuage your sense of anger, confusion, and betrayal after he surprised the family by saying he was moving in with Suzanne, his "friend" from work.

The NES Classic Edition will also have HDMI support, making it easy to connect to any modern TV, unlike the original NES which took your dad over an hour to set up as he tried to explain that it was your mother, not you, he was leaving.

According to Nintendo, the NES Classic Edition will retail for $59.99 (USD) and will be available starting November 11th, just in time for the holiday season, which will always remind you of that first awkward Christmas you spent as Suzanne's, playing Super Mario Bros. 3 alone while your dad drank eggnog and argued with Suzanne about money.

Here are all the games bundled with the new NES Classic Edition, many of which you wanted as a kid but couldn't have because, as your dad explained, "Divorce lawyers just suck you dry":

Balloon Fight

Bubble Bobble

Castlevania

Castlevania II: Simon's Quest

Donkey Kong

Donkey Kong Jr.

Double Dragon II: The Revenge

Dr. Mario

Excitebike

Final Fantasy

Galaga

Ghosts'N Goblins

Gradius

Ice Climber

Kid Icarus

Kirby's Adventure

Mario Bros.

Mega Man 2

Metroid

Ninja Gaiden

Pac-Man

Punch-Out!! Featuring Mr. Dream

StarTropics

Super C

Super Mario Bros.

Super Mario Bros. 2

Super Mario Bros. 3

Tecmo Bowl

The Legend of Zelda

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

now