Man's parents misplace slip of paper containing 45-digital Wifi password
OAKVILLE, ON—Local adult man, Jay Harris, 29, was summoned to the home of his parents, Lynn and Bob Harris, late Sunday morning to "fix the internet."
Upon arrival, Jay discovered that yet again, his parents had misplaced the small scrap of paper containing their 45-digit wifi password.
After rifling through several filing cabinets, shoeboxes of coupons, and junk mail piles, the password, "w454jkshdfgoaisdh908HHJH99Jmmr5220pLLvthH771Q" was finally discovered scrawled on the back of an old cable bill envelope from 2012.
Harris was quickly able to resolve his parents' connection issue by proceeding to the living room, typing in the password, and restarting the 1998 Gateway desktop computer. In an effort to prevent a future crisis, and following much debate and many frustrated tears, Jay successfully convinced his parents to allow him to change the password to "Sadie," the name of the family's elderly dog.
Sadie is also the inspiration for the Harris family's banking passwords, vanity license plate, and Lynn and Bob's sexual safe word.
This latest wifi incident is not the first time Jay has been called upon to resolve his parents' technological crises. Last week, Lynn texted Jay at 8 am on a Saturday, pleading with him to meet her at the Rogers kiosk at the Oakville Place mall.
After rushing to the mall, Jay quickly learned that no one was in fact attempting to rob his mother. Rather, a Rogers employee had tried explaining to Lynn that she was due for a free upgrade of her cell phone.
"I like the phone I have," Lynn explains calmly. "I don't need a 'smarty phone' with all those frills. If I need to use the Internet when I'm away from home, I can always just go to the library."
As a gesture of goodwill and final attempt to lure his mom into the 21st century, Jay purchased Lynn an iPad for her birthday this week. Before presenting her with the gift, Jay added some customized settings including changing the standard font size to 48 point Arial, downloading Candy Crush, and setting the homepage to Yahoo! News. Though she was hesitant at first, Lynn has since taken to using the device exclusively as a camera.