I'm starting to think my doctor might be pranking me, and you won't believe why!
1) I'm clearly in great shape and not in need of medical care.
I received an urgent call from my MD this morning asking me to come into his office straight away. How strange, I thought. I'm a perfectly healthy 37-year-old in the best shape of my life (I've been jogging nearly once a month, and often eat two appetizers for dinner when I'm at Boston Pizza instead of one main). I couldn't help but think to myself, "is there a prank afoot here?"
2) He's got a very funny calendar hanging in the waiting room.
While sitting in the waiting room, and thumbing through a copy of Canadian Man Monthly, I noticed a funny Herman calendar hanging on the wall across from me (one of my fav cartoons!). When your doctor is a fan of a comic like Herman, you just know he's got a zany sense of humour. "This guy seems like a prankster," I whispered to myself slyly.
3) Let's just say he has to work on his poker face.
When I finally saw the doctor, he asked me to sit down and gave me a stern, worrying look. To be honest, I had to stifle a laugh. I was actually tempted to ask him if he would be interested in playing a game of cards with me – as his poker face left a lot to be desired! Clearly, he was about to prank.
4) The 'disease' he claims I have was blatantly made up (hepatitis).
Finally, after quite a buildup, he got to his big prank. The doctor told me that tests showed I have something called 'hepatitis'. Now, I don't have a degree in medicine, but methinks 'hepatitis' sounds a bit more like a word a toddler might mistakenly call a hippopotamus rather than an actual disease. I tried to humour him, but I couldn't resist smirking and rolling my eyes as he detailed the "symptoms" and "treatments".
5) He told me to get rid of my hot tub! Haha. Not likely.
Here's the really funny part: He then started asking me questions about my hot tub! "How thoroughly do you clean it?" "Do you know you have to disinfect it?" He asked, "Do you even use chlorine?" He even told me I needed to get rid of it! Now that's a real joke – that hot tub cost me $200 second-hand from a flea market in Keswick! Maybe he was just mad because I never gave him an invite to hop in, himself! Either way, I tore up his 'prescription' with laugh and said "very funny, better luck next time Doc," and I strolled right out. You should have seen the confused look on this face! Playing it straight to the very end, I guess.