Hillary Clinton: "If Trump wins, I'm moving to Canada"
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Politicos and voters alike were caught by surprise today when Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, in her last day of campaigning, announced that if Donald Trump were to win the presidency she would move to Canada.
"I know you've heard other celebrities say this before, but this is no empty threat. This is something I will follow through on," she warned.
- Trump-fearing Americans serious about moving to Canada but not Sarnia serious
- 98% of women unable to tell what moment debate started, rest of average Monday stopped
Clinton said that she will patiently await the election results throughout the evening of the 8th along with the rest of the country, "but if he wins, I'm seriously out of here. Could you imagine living the next four years in a country that has Donald Trump as its president? Nope. Nope way. I'm done."
"Hell, I might even give my concession speech from Moncton," she continued, "wherever that is. My people tell me it's quite popular."
Clinton offered assurances to Canadians that she would never attempt to seek power in her adopted country, however. "Oh, please, ha, I've had enough of that. Wanting to lead is something the American Hillary did, but it's not going to be an interest of Canadian Hillary's—she'll be more into, uh, ice hockey and field lacrosse," she said, before going on to ask dozens of detailed questions about the Prime Minister's residence, salary, and term limits.
Clinton said that she's not only comfortable with her decision, but that Canada could offer many experiences that are almost impossible to find in the United States, such as poutine, beer, and Kim Mitchell.
"Not to mention, people also always forget the two L's in my name in America—Canadian spelling is actually a lot better for me. It is also my understanding that Matt LeBlanc will similarly be moving up there in the event of my loss, and I've always been a big fan. Perhaps we could be neighbours in… oh, let's say Etobicoke. Am I pronouncing that right? Etobicoke?" (She was not.)
Hillary Clinton loves Canada, eh:
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