Comedy·IT'S NO SACRIFICE

Elton John agrees to be organ donor, but will keep pianos in the family

“I was sitting and thinking in my music room, which is a lovely place I like to go after I’m done relaxing in my novelty eyeglasses room, which is slightly larger,” said John.
(Shutterstock / JStone)

As he prepares to embark on his farewell tour later this year, legendary musician Elton John is getting more than just his concert schedule in order.

At a press conference to kick off the tour, the pop superstar also announced that he has agreed to be an organ donor.

He assured fans that his famous pianos, however, will remain in the possession of his estate.

"I was sitting in my music room, which is a lovely, relaxing place I like to go after I'm done relaxing in my novelty eyeglasses room, which is slightly larger," said John.

"I was looking around at my instruments, and I realized that there are more than I could ever play myself even if I chose a different one every day for the rest of my life. I realized that I could, and should, share some of this wealth."

"In particular, I know that a lot of people could use and benefit from my organs, so I signed on to donate the bulk of them immediately."

Asked about his hard lifestyle and intense touring schedule over the years, John offered the following comment:

"I want to assure everyone that I've taken great care of my organs. My pianos are pretty beaten up and out of tune, but they still mean a lot to me. My organs, you just have to plug them in and they work like new."

"I do want to make clear that this donation does not refer to keyboard instruments of all kinds," specified the erstwhile Reginald Dwight.

"A lot of my hits have featured piano very prominently. 'Your Song,' 'Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me,' I could go on and on. So if you love those, you are welcome to keep listening to them or even playing them yourself, but you won't be able to use my piano to do so. Or that harpsichord I have buried somewhere."

"Don't mistake these organs for my synthesizers, either. I know you're picturing 'Daniel,' 'The Bitch is Back,' that kind of thing. But nope, that's different, those are synthesizers. My synthesizers do have an organ setting you could use. But it doesn't sound quite the same."

"'Border Song' and 'Burn Down the Mission,' though? You can go nuts. Some of those lesser-known classics had some nice organ for sure! You could play those on one of these. As many times as you want."

"In fact, I want you to. I want these organs transplanted to a home that will make great use of them."

John then assured his fans that according to his doctor, he will not suffer due to his subsequent lack of organs; as long as he keeps one around, it will be able to do all the work originally done by the various other organs.

"Don't worry about me. Just worry about how to get my organs into your possession," John said before beginning to leave the stage, then turning back for one last comment.

"Oh! 'Crocodile Rock'! Everybody loves that one. Yep. Organ. A kind of organ. 'Bennie and the Jets.' Please, take my organs and you'll be able to play these."

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About the Author

Jeremy has been a staff writer for This Hour Has 22 Minutes, performed stand-up comedy at the Just For Laughs and Winnipeg Comedy Festivals, and co-created/stars in the popular video series The Urbane Explorer/Finding Bessarion. A 3x Canadian Comedy Award–winner and published humour columnist, he also wrote your favourite joke, the one about the fish trying to get a job at a bank.

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