Comedy·CBC

Confused Snoop Dogg begs to host Great Canadian Bake-Off

After CBC’s new adaptation of the hit series Great British Bake-Off was announced, the producers received a phone call from Snoop Dogg, who said only “You’ve got to let me do this.”

LONG BEACH, CA—Immediately after the public announcement of CBC's new adaptation of the hit series Great British Bake-Off, the producers of the show received an urgent phone call from rapper and actor Snoop Dogg, who said only "You've got to let me do this."

When informed that it was not a program about the sort of thing he seemed to be thinking, but rather a competition surrounding who was the best at baking in the entire country, Snoop responded with positive reassurances. "Yeah. That's okay, I understand that it's a contest." he said. "It's always an unspoken competition. It's all love, but you're trying to do the best, you're trying to get the highest. Can the host win, by the way? Because I feel like I would win. I'm going to win your bake-off, Canadians."

When it was further clarified to the erstwhile Calvin Broadus that the "baking" didn't refer to the sort of baking he might be referring to, but rather to cooking baked goods in an oven to then be eaten by judges, he again responded eagerly. "Yeah. I hear you. Baking. Eating. I understand. Brownies, right? 'Brownies.' I get it. I am hearing you loud and clear, Canadians. I'm winking. I know it's over the phone so I'm telling you that I'm winking right now. Can the host be a judge, by the way? I'm going to judge your baking, Canada."

When it was clarified for a final time to the star that this was a show about baking food, using flour, sugar, butter, and other such ingredients, but nothing, absolutely nothing illegal, he expressed his great expression of excitement yet. "Oh yeah, that's right! It's all becoming legal up there, right? I heard your Prime Minister said that, and what he says goes. By the way, this better not be just a cooking show. I already got tricked into that show with Martha Stewart, and it ended up being food. I'm so glad this one is about the other thing entirely and in no way about food."

At press time, a misinformed Seth Rogen had heard the news from Snoop and was pushing to be co-host.

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