Canada announces shitty remake of flashy American show

The casting director explains their choice of lead in this saga of power, wealth, and status.

BOSTON, MA—The nation of Canada announced today that it is officially beginning work on a remake of a very unpopular American horror/drama where an entitled male reality television show character with dangerously high blood pressure suddenly decides he'd like to run for the highest office in his country for no other reason than to amass more personal wealth and status.

The American original, which will air its new season on Friday, has overwhelmingly terrible ratings but has become the kind of show people "hate-watch", having recently been renewed after a rocky six-month run for an astounding four more years.

Despite numerous efforts by citizens to get the show cancelled, its executives have flat-out refused.

The production team responsible for the Canadian remake says their main challenge was casting the main character.

"We wanted a guy who yells all kind of bullshit about caring about his country and how he desperately wants to help it realize his potential even though it's painfully clear that his only real priority is to have power and make money," explains the casting director on the project.

"We wanted to stick as closely to the American plot line as possible. No major changes to the character, just some superficial ones, like the hair."

So far he's said he thinks 3.5 billion people living in poverty is 'fantastic' – that's a great start.

Some critics have expressed concern that the Canadian character isn't quite as overtly racist and sexist as his American inspiration, which will have the effect of softening the show's impact.

"True, our Canadian guy hasn't come out and said he wants to round up Muslims or that we should admire him for sexually assaulting women, but you have to let the character develop," the casting director explains.

"It's only the first season, and you never know where he might choose to take the character, especially if it looks like he's not going to win; he might really ramp some things up for better ratings then. So far he's said he thinks 3.5 billion people living in poverty is 'fantastic' – that's a great start. It'll be exciting to see where his character arc goes, and how he grows into his burning hatred of people who are different from him."

When asked why the team is pursuing this project when Canadian remakes of big flashy American shows are so often total flops, the casting director laughed and added, "Guess we haven't really learned anything!"

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