Jordan Foisy

Jordan Foisy is a writer/comedian based in Toronto.

Latest from Jordan Foisy


Steve Bannon outraged after stepping on one of Jared Kushner's Hot Wheels

“Goddammit Jared! I asked you to pick all these up,” staffers heard Bannon bellow.

Peter Mansbridge silently pumps fist after correctly pronouncing 'inauspicious' on air

“Inauspicious”, with its four tricky syllables and slippery “s” noises has long been a troublemaker for the venerated anchor.

Obama to stick around, help Trump through rocky transition "for as long as it takes – 4 to 8 years if need be"

Noting that President-elect Trump’s team was behind schedule in their transition efforts, and that the incoming leader has expressed surprise at the “scope” of the president’s duties, Obama has pledged to hang around and help out as long as he may be needed.

For an extra $25 Canadian doctors will add "so go f*#k yourself, boss" to any doctor's note

Annoyed that you had to spend $30 to get a note from your family doctor last time you had a simple head cold? Canada’s doctors have begun offering a way to express yourself for a small additional cost.

Leaked Access Hollywood tape shows Billy Bush egging on melting polar ice cap

Just days after a tape surfaced of him engaging in a lewd conversation with presidential candidate Donald Trump, a new tape was released this morning of the elven frat boy celebrity interviewer cajoling the Greenland ice sheet to melt faster.

Attention, men: you are so much more than your deodorant scent

There aren’t a lot of constants in this brutal world. These days, the only things a man knows for certain is which way his dog is walking and which way his cigarillo smoke is blowing.

George W. Bush finally finishes children's book he started on 9/11

With a dopey grin spreading from ear to ear, former president George W. Bush told friends, family and anyone who would listen on Sunday that he finally finished reading the children’s book, The Pet Goat, that he began on that fateful day 15 years ago.

Local man emasculated by smouldering sensuality of bike store employee

When asked what makes the bike shop employees so handsome, Choisey nearly chokes.

Family delighted as shirtless Justin Trudeau emerges from their cotton candy

Will the Trudeau charm offensive ever end? 6-year-old Robbie Chestnut certainly hopes not.

Man's visit to hometown not sentimental or emotional in slightest

Local sad-sack Gordan Bloisey was disappointed when he discovered that a recent business trip to his hometown failed to result in feelings of nostalgia, sentimentality or any sort of meaningful emotions at all.