Adam Albanese

Adam is a comedy writer from Toronto. Critics have accurately described him as "more Darth than Yoda, more Kathy-Lee than Hoda."

Latest from Adam Albanese

MANCANDLING

'Beauty and the Beast on Ice' performer gets 2 minutes for roughing

Actor and seasoned skater Nate DuPuis was sent back to his dressing room for two full minutes on a disciplinary roughing call.
JOINT CUSTODY

New Ford F-150 comes with two boys who are at their mother's place most of the week

The Ford motor company will be equipping their 2018 F-150 truck with two boys who are at their mother’s place most of the week.
FRIES WITH THAT?

Juilliard to cut the crap and become actual bartending school

After serious pressure from disappointed alumni, legendary Manhattan arts school Juilliard will now completely refashion itself to train students for careers in the food and beverage industry.
SWOLE

GoodLife Fitness will now allow members to enter other commercial establishments

In a new summer promotion, Canadian fitness juggernaut GoodLife Fitness will for the first time allow its members to enter other establishments that engage in commercial activity.
INVENTED BASKETBALL

Michael Jordan 100% unfazed by new wooden Air Naismith sneaker

Named for the inventor of basketball Canadian doctor James Naismith, the heavy, unforgiving sneaker is said to add approximately “three slivers to your jump shot.”
MOTHER'S DAY

Local mom considering comedy career after 'I need my Monday coffee!' meme gets 9 likes on Facebook

Move over, Amy Schumer!
FEMINISM

Trump officially declares 12:33:18:09 pm International Women's Millisecond

Insisting that a whole day is simply too much, President Donald J. Trump has declared 12:33:18:09 pm International Women’s Millisecond.
PREDICTABLE

Tightrope sprinter dies of known causes

While friends and family applaud Twinkle Toes’ bravery, they concede that his life may have been spared had he bothered to practice the art even once beforehand.
CHARITY

Make-A-Wish kid regretting choice of Jon Lovitz

“It was either Lovitz or that guy who used to host Hollywood Squares,” he lamented.
DOOMED TO SUCCEED

Couple files for marriage citing irreconcilable similarities

After spending several hours with their respective attorneys, Graham Davies and his fiancé Shauna Ford have officially announced that they will be filing for marriage.

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