Comedy·QUIT WHILE AHEAD

5 television reboots and spin-offs we never want to see

In this age of constant reboots and spin-offs, it seems like any idea will get the green light. Here are five ideas that should not get that green light.
(NBC / Seinfeld)

In this age of constant reboots and spinoffs, it seems like any idea will get the green light. Here are five ideas that should not get that shade of light.

Eddie

In which, due to a clerical error, Eddie the dog gets ownership of Frasier's apartment (and kicks Frasier and Daphne out right away)!

First of all, how did he even do that? Even if he wanted to, doesn't really have the nuanced communicative skills to convey it.

And don't they know that you can undo a clerical error, especially once you realize it's caused such a major problem? In the end, though, these questions are irrelevant. Even if they were solved it would just be a reboot of Frasier, in which case, just reboot Frasier. And if they don't solve it, we're watching a dog climb all over a piano for 22 minutes.

Seinfeld

How do you make more episodes of a show about nothing? They already used up all the nothing. There's no more nothing.

There was still some nothing left after Seinfeld went off the air, leaving everyone wanting more nothing, but it was used up by Curb Your Enthusiasm, the Purge film series, and the band fun..

These days there are mostly a lot of somethings everywhere you turn, and I'm just not sure Jerry Seinfeld (and, god willing, Larry David) are up to that.

Jeopardy!

It's still on. Why would you reboot it; what would that even mean? Start another one on a second channel?

That said, if Alex Trebek does retire as rumoured in a couple years, reboot it then, with him as host. Again.

The Sopranos

How could you ever properly explain, in a dramatically satisfying manner, what led to the power outage that closed the final (so far) episode?

If you remember, all the lights in New Jersey went out at once, including those of the restaurant the Sopranos were in, or at least that was my takeaway, and that's as fulfilling an ending as a complex series like this one could have.

Of course we want to know why the area lost electricity, and whether it tied in to the rest of the show's narrative — was A.J. playing his video games too long? Did Christopher accidentally crash his car into a light pole? — but trust me, it just wouldn't be satisfying.

Just like none of us was satisfied when we found out that The Golden Girls was just a cheese-dream Rose was having.

The Golden Girls

Look, I don't really want to get into why, but let's just all agree this wouldn't be a very wise reboot idea.

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About the Author

Jeremy has been a staff writer for This Hour Has 22 Minutes, performed stand-up comedy at the Just For Laughs and Winnipeg Comedy Festivals, and co-created/stars in the popular video series The Urbane Explorer/Finding Bessarion. A 3x Canadian Comedy Award–winner and published humour columnist, he also wrote your favourite joke, the one about the fish trying to get a job at a bank.