Books

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

A nonfiction book by actors Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman.

Megan Mullally & Nick Offerman

The year: 2000. The setting: Los Angeles. A gorgeous virtuoso of an actress agreed to star in a random play, and a basement-dwelling scenic carpenter said he would assay a supporting role in the selfsame pageant. At the first rehearsal she surveyed her fellow cast members, determining if any of the men might qualify to provide her with a satisfying fling. Her gaze fell upon the carpenter, and like a bolt of lightning the thought struck her: no dice. Moving on.

Yet, unbeknownst to our protagonists, Cupid had merely set down his bow and picked up a rocket launcher... that fired a love rocket (not a euphemism). The players were Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman, and the resulting romance, once ignited, was... epic. Beyond epic. It resulted in a coupling that has endured to this day; a sizzling, perpetual tryst that has captivated the world with its kindness, athleticism, astonishingly low-brow humour and true (fire emoji) passion.

Eighteen years later, they're still very much in love and have finally decided to reveal the philosophical mountains they have conquered, the lessons they've learned, and the myriad jigsaw puzzles they've completed. Presented as an oral history in a series of conversations between the couple, the book features anecdotes, hijinks, photos and a veritable grab bag of tomfoolery. This is not only the intoxicating book that Mullally's and Offerman's fans have been waiting for, it might just hold the solution to the greatest threat facing our modern world: the single life. (From Dutton)

From the book

Megan: All right! Bum-ba-da-dum! Blastoff! (Laughs) This is the introduction to our book. Carefully and meticulously handcrafted, word by word.

Nick: Start your engines.

M: This book consists of our time-tested insights into a number of topics, mostly in the areas of math and science.

N: It's riddled with sordid details.

M: Sordid math details?

N: That's right.

M: Like pi...

N: There are specific algorithms we created concerning the relationship between a woman and a man...

M: The birds and the bees.

N: The body produces its own lubrication in many instances...

M: Oh, wait a minute. This is the intro! Dude!

N: That's physics!

M: No, no. Too soon! We do get into lubricants of various kinds. But not until later on in the book. Let's not open with that.


From The Greatest Love Story Ever Told by Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman ©2018. Published by Dutton.