So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know

A book of essays by Retta.


In So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know, Parks and Recreation star Retta takes us on her not-so-meteoric rise from roaches to riches (well, rich enough that she can buy $15,000 designer handbags yet scared enough to know she's always a heartbeat away from ramen with American cheese).

Throwing her hard-working Liberian parents for a loop, Retta abandons her plan to attend med school after graduating Duke University to move to Hollywood to star in her own sitcom.

Say what? Word. Turns out Retta might actually be on to something. After winning Comedy Central's stand-up competition, she should be ready for prime time — but a fear of success derails her biggest dream.

Whether reminiscing about her days as a contract chemist at GlaxoSmithKline, telling dirty jokes to Mormons, feeling like the odd man out on Parks, fending off racist trolls on Twitter, flirting with Michael Fassbender or expertly stalking the cast of Hamilton, Retta's unique voice and refreshing honesty will make you laugh, cry and laugh so hard you'll cry. (From St. Martin's Press)

From the book

One day in the fall of 2005, I was sitting on my couch, eating Cabaret crackers and watching TV, when I got a call from my manager.

"This is big," he said.

Mmm-hmm. I wasn't falling for that old line. Last time I heard that, I was sent to audition for a part of a kids' show... with no lines. How do you audition for a part with no lines? Exactly.

"Are you sitting down?"

From So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know by Retta ©2018. Published by St. Martin's Press.


The Parks and Recreation star shares her opinions on everything from social media etiquette to Lin-Manuel Miranda to flying first-class versus coach. 18:21