Kahsenniyo performs a poem reckoning with the wounds of colonialism and breaking cycles of trauma

As Canadians observe the inaugural National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, we bring together four Indigenous female poets to speak their truth in the sixth edition of the CBC Arts series Poetic License. Watch previous performances now and read Kahsenniyo Williams's poem below.

Contains strong language.

Hamilton-based poet Kahsenniyo's name means "a good name" in Mohawk. She credits her mother's sense of humour for her name — but as an artist, matriarch and 1492 Land Back Lane activist who uses her words for social change, her mother may have predestined the empowered woman her daughter would grow up to be.

Watch Kahsenniyo perform Decolonizing Love in the video above and follow her at @landback_and_lipstick – also a good name. In this deeply personal poem, Kahsenniyo reckons with the ways in which colonialism has decimated Indigenous lands and family structures and offers her own strategies to break the cycle of intergenerational trauma. 

This video was filmed on location at the Woodland Cultural Centre, a site at which a small but mighty group has transformed the original intent of the Mohawk Institute Indian Residential School into a place of reconciliation and learning to promote Indigenous art and history. 

Special thank you as well also to multidisciplinary artist Kelly Greene. Greene is of Mohawk-Oneida-Sicilian ancestry, a member of the Six Nations of the Grand River Reserve, and a descendant of the Turtle Clan. Her work centres around environmental, political and cultural themes that have been impacted by colonization. Her incredible installation "The Haldimand Coupe" (2015) is featured in the video. 

Decolonizing Love

I fell in love with you centuries ago 
as we stood below 
the silver moon 
surrounded by trees 
me weeding gardens on my knees 
not knowing the complexities 
that over centuries 
would be put in our way 

even though I wanted to stay 
the white man took me away 
and held me in the captivity 
of his lust for me 
my brown skin a symbol of the earth 
that had no worth 
to him 
and I been struggling to love you since then 

I've been struggling to love myself 
I forgot my value 
I allowed you to disrespect me 
as a woman I am to demand respect 
accept nothing less 
because I am worthy 

I didn't know how to love the blood 
that once bound us so tightly 
colonization made it impossible for you to like me
be attracted to me 
desire me sexually 
respect me 

I am the colour of earth 
we took on the colonizer's idea of worth; it's made us forget who you are 
who I am 
who we are supposed to be together
left each other to walk this land with foreign responsibilities 
I abandoned you 

you were left in the emptiness 
of her hollow chest 
with each one of her breaths 
you were left with less 
each time she inhaled 
her power prevailed 
leaving you living in a secret nightmare 
but you put on a happy face, pretend that things are great
when day grows late 
the darkness swallows you whole 
you are left with an unfilled soul 
in silence 
emptiness 
darkness 
filled with regret 

haunted by blood memories of me 
memories of who you are supposed to be 

haunted by your strong 
soft rhythmic heart beat in her captivity 
as these beats echo 
from generations ago 
you are reminded of the drums from home 
the songs you know you are supposed to sing for your family 

I've realized I don't want to plant gardens alone 
it's taken a lot but I'm glad we've both come home 
assimilated ideologies 
of our responsibilities 
we've let go 
my heart you have sewn 
with needles of tradition 
held together by threads of language 
your hands 
will help rebuild clans 
together 
we can heal centuries of collective trauma 
by fiercely loving the fuck out of each other 
the way we raise our children has consequences 
So, let's soak them in our love 

teach our daughters 
their hearts are made of lava 
have star dust under their tongues 
and the ability to sift tides in their wombs 

let's allow laughter to vibrate so loudly 
our great grandchildren feel us in their bones 

Watch more Poetic License.