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- Season 6
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26 Minutes, 30 Seconds
This week on WireTap, Jonathan enlists help from Rap Master Maurice to avenge him with some vigilante raps. Plus, a short story from David Eagleman's book Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives.
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No Man is an Island
This week on WireTap, Howard starts his very own country within the borders of his apartment: the first nation with wall-to-wall carpeting. Plus, Gregor makes Jonathan a personalized mix-tape to help him seduce the ladies, and Patri Friedman discusses his latest project, the Seasteading Institute.
Help Me, Doctor
This week on WireTap, when a man awakens to find himself turned into a cockroach, he seeks out a famous, rhyme-speaking doctor for advice: it's the Gregor Samsa/ Doctor Seuss correspondence. Plus, Jonathan and Gregor try couple's counseling to help mend their friendship. (Original broadcast: 16/03/2008)
High Art, Low Art
This week on WireTap, Jonathan and Gregor take a ride in the Wayback Machine to find out what it would have been like if they were the Marx Brothers. Plus, Josh invents his own brand of cola and uses Jonathan as a guinea pig in a blind taste test.
Patent Pending
This week on WireTap, a friend of Howard's tries to get Jonathan to invest in some groundbreaking inventions: A toothpaste dispensing toothbrush, a lie-down toilet, edible pen tops... Plus, an automated relationship replacement hotline that helps mend broken hearts.
The High Cost of Living
This week on WireTap, Howard puts his financial journalism skills to the test as he interviews Alex Blumberg about the economic crisis. Plus, Jonathan offers up some business tips to help his goddaughter with her lemonade stand.
Heaven and Hell
This week on WireTap, Heather O'Neill reads her short story "Heaven" about the time her grandfather died for a few minutes when he was nine and visited the pearly gates. Plus, Jonathan speaks with his old college chum, Irwin, about life as an ice cream man. (Original broadcast: 09/03/2008)
We Are But The Stuff Of Dreams
This week on the show, Jonathan and Josh debate whether there ever existed a high-end poutine restaurant called Raspoutine, and Tucker takes offense to making a cameo in one of Jonathan's dreams. Plus, Jane Lewis reads a short story from David Eagleman's book Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives and Jonathan speaks with Adam Pacitti, a young man who is on a quest to find the woman of his dreams... literally. Could you be the girl Adam's searching for?
All Beasts Go To Heaven
Worried about what would happen to your pets in the event of the Rapture? Put your fears to rest as we speak with Bart Carter, an atheist who has post-rapture animal rescue all figured out. Plus, Jonathan pet sits Howard's pugs, Desmond and Bruce. And a short story from David Eagleman's book Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives.
A Better You
This week on WireTap, discover the path to a better you. Gregor offers up some weight loss tips, reminding us that flossing before hopping on the scale can help shave off the pounds. Plus, Howard Chackowicz makes a surprise appearance at Jonathan's gym. And a short story from David Eagleman's book Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives.
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- Season 5
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Buzz Pick Up The Phone: The Best of Season 5
This week on WireTap, it's the Best of Season 5. Tune in for your favorite moments from the past year: Howard outsources his friendship with Jonathan to an Indian call center; Gregor pitches his PR campaign for the Messiah; plus, David Rakoff claims that alcohol makes him so charming that he even gets drunk before job interviews. (Original broadcast: 31/05/2009)
Splendours of the Small Screen
This week on WireTap, Josh gets a new job as personal assistant to Randy Dandy, child television star. Plus, a YouTube celebrity calls Jonathan for advice on how to deal with life in the limelight. (Original broadcast: 24/05/2009)
The Deciders
This week on WireTap, author Jonah Lehrer discusses his book, "How We Decide". Plus, Howard offers Jonathan some decision making advice with his very own version of the I Ching. (Original broadcast: 17/05/2009)
Why We Mistakes
This week on WireTap, Howard is the subject of a young graduate student's thesis paper, but the focus of the study turns out to be less flattering than he imagines. Plus, Jonathan speaks with author Joe Hallinan about his book "Why We Make Mistakes". (Original broadcast: 03/05/2009)
Adam and Eve
This week on WireTap, Jonathan reads the story of Adam and Eve in front of a live audience at the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. With musical guests John K Samson of The Weakerthans, Christine Fellows, and Leanne Zacharias. (Original broadcast: 26/04/2009)
How to be a Grownup
Jonathan teaches Howard how to drive. Plus, Jonathan gets a frantic call from his nephew Zak seeking advice on life after high school, and Gregor's friend McGufford tries to help Jonathan out of a plumbing jam. (Original broadcast: 19/04/2009)
The Armchair Guide to Survival
Howard heads off to survival camp to learn how to survive in the wild. Plus, Josh becomes addicted to Twitter and David Borgenicht discusses his Worst-case Scenario Handbook series.
Fishin' for Glory
Jonathan leaves the safety of the studio for a fishing trip with Howard. Plus, world-record holder Mark Lamster breaks his own record in the field of complaining.
100 False Messiahs
What would it take to make it as the Messiah these days? Gregor pitches his PR campaign that'll put any Messiah on the map, including billboard ads and celebrity sightings with Angelina Jolie.
Never Say I Love You
This week on WireTap, tune in for advice from Starlee Kine on how to get over a bad break up. Plus, Jonathan reads his story "You call that Love", Howard confesses his true feelings for Jonathan, and a selection of short notes to people we have loved from dearoldlove.com.
How to Build a Bomb Shelter
This week on WireTap, experience entertainment you needn't leave the house for as Howard decides he wants to become a shut-in. Plus, Daily Show writer Rob Kutner discusses his recent book, Apocalypse How, and Jonathan takes an improv comedy course over the telephone.
Lew Wasserman
Josh lies his way into a new job at a yoga magazine but is worried that he's soon going to be downward facing the unemployment line. Plus, how many goodbyes does it take to get Jonathan's mother off the telephone? Tune in to find out.
Of Time, Space and Money
Ever dreamed of working just 4 hours a week at your full-time job without getting fired? This week on WireTap, we speak with an expert on time management who claims that such a thing is possible. Plus, Gregor helps Jonathan prepare for his new job voicing radio ads.
Half Baked
This week on WireTap, Jonathan picks up the phone book and calls up other Jonathan Goldsteins to see what they have in common, aside from their name. Plus, Dave Bronstetter reads one of Jonathan's latest stories, "A Father's Lesson".
How to Say Goodbye
This week on WireTap, Adam Davidson confronts the minister who ruined his grandmother's funeral. Plus, Howard outsources his friendship with Jonathan to an Indian call center.
The Dinner Party
This week on WireTap, the how-tos of dinner party etiquette: place your napkin on your lap, chew with your mouth closed... never use your salad fork as a back scratcher. Tune in as Jonathan polishes off his good manners for a dinner party with some old college chums.
The Holiday Special
Feeling glum around the holidays? Experience the solace of the psychological services hot-line. Plus, Jonathan fields a request to appear in CBC You Naked, a fundraising calendar for a good cause; and a man who sees himself as a generous soul holds forth on the holiday spirit.
Meet the New Boss
This week on WireTap, we try to get to the bottom of an age old question: where does all the change in the shopping mall fountain go? Something tells us Howard might have the answer. Plus, Jonathan gets a tough new boss, with an all new style of management.
Rainy Day Blues
This week on WireTap, Howard turns Jonathan on to the latest in home hair-care, the Trimco 3000. Plus, what do Howie Mandel, Kim Cattrall and Lorne Michaels have in common? Gregor addresses the conspiracy that is the Canadian showbiz mafia.
Into America
This week on WireTap, it's all about Americans and Canadians: the ways in which we fundamentally differ, and the ways in which we're pretty much the same. Jonathan's American friend Starlee performs her tribute to the 50 states. Plus, David Rakoff, a Canadian living in the USA, discusses how to mask a Canadian accent and pass for an American.
Make Your Own Fortune
He was one of the most prolific fortune cookie writers in history until he was stricken with writer's block: Jonathan speaks with Donald Lau of Wonton Food Incorporated about what to do when your inspiration runs dry. Plus, Howard becomes a freelance bathroom attendant, and Gregor takes Jonathan shopping for a whole new wardrobe.
Human Nature
This week on WireTap, flying cows that leak milk from the sky, and a hippopotamus that hangs upside down like a sloth: it's Heather O'Neill's retelling of the H.G. Wells classic, The Isle of Dr. Moreau. Plus, Jonathan's weekend alone in the woods turns out to be less like Weldon Pond, and more like the Blair Witch Project.
Who Wants to Live Forever?
This week on WireTap, Who wants to live forever? We speak with the director of the Immortality Institute to find out. And what Halloween discussion of immortality would be complete without Vampires? Tune in as Jonathan's daughter informs him why he would not make a good one.
The Hangover
This week on WireTap, author David Rakoff claims that alcohol makes him so charming that he even gets drunk before job interviews. Unconvinced that booze necessarily equals charm, Jonathan puts Rakoff's theory to the test. Plus, Howard shares some Chackowicz family hangover cures.
The Fox and the Hedgehog
According to philosopher Archilochus, people are either foxes or hedgehogs, and this week on WireTap, Starlee explains why Jonathan is a classic hedgehog. Plus, Jonathan speaks with a discount medium who specializes in channeling b-list historical figures: people like Lincoln's haberdasher, or Joan of Arc's sister, Nancy...of Arc. And introducing the Ehrlich Personality Test.
Where Do Babies Come From and Where Do Babies Go?
Ever wondered if you were delivered by a stork as a baby, or dug up from a cabbage patch? On WireTap this week, a lesson in human reproduction as award-winning author Heather O'Neill reads her short story "Where Babies Come From". Plus, Howard takes house sitting to a whole new level.
I Can't Find the Books
This week on WireTap, Jonathan finds himself double-booked. Having been scheduled to introduce an experimental art band at the CBC, but having also promised to take his 9 year-old goddaughter honey-tasting, find out who he shares the day with and who he leaves high and dry. Plus, Jonathan's mother makes her debut in the world of avant-garde music. (Original broadcast: 21/09/2008)
Where Did All the Spaniards Go?
This week on WireTap, who is the better hero: Superman or Batman? Join Jonathan and his thirteen year-old daughter ZouZou as they put this age-old dispute to rest once and for all. Plus, Jonathan's father reminisces about a trip to Barcelona, and Howard bonds with his pug, Desmond. (Original broadcast: 14/09/2008)
Life is Lovely
This week on WireTap, Jonathan tests Tucker's perception skills with a pop quiz...about the details of his own apartment. Plus, Starlee reunites with her 15 year old personal intern and Gregor tries to convince Jonathan to leave the hustle behind and take some dance lessons.(Original broadcast: 14/09/2008)
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- Season 4
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The Lives of Bugs and Men: Best of Season 4
This week on WireTap, the Best of Season 4. Howard tries his hand at beekeeping, Dr. Seuss and Gregor Samsa become unlikely penpals and Jonathan's parents contemplate life, afterlife and the universe. (Original broadcast: 25/05/2008)
Klosterman's Questions
If there was a VCR that could record your dreams but you were only allowed to watch the tapes with a roomful of people -- wold you still choose to do this? Or how about this one: Which would you pick, a yearlong European vacation or ten minutes on the moon? This week on WireTap, we explore hypothetical questions -- Why we ask them and what our answers say about us. (Original broadcast: 18/05/2008)
Songs of Sorrow
This week on WireTap, What is it about sad music that makes us sad? Jonathan talks with music expert Daniel Levitin about the building blocks of sad songs. Plus, WireTap goes bilingual as Howard hosts a live simulcast of Jonathan's monologs in French. (Original broadcast: 11/05/2008)
The Quick Fix
This week on WireTap, meet the Meekles as they get swept up in a never ending pain-job. Plus, Jonathan plays rock, paper, scissors over the telephone with a professional competitor. And a solitary exercise... in team building. (Original broadcast: 04/05/2008)
Golden Calves and Sacred Cows
This week on Wiretap, Golden Calves and Sacred Cows. What happens when you leave your people for 40 days to go talk with God on a mountaintop? Your people get all hopped up on idol-worship: Tune in as Jonathan tells the story of Gomer, the last Golden Calf salesman. Plus, Gregor pitches a new "consumer advocacy" segment for the show. (Original broadcast: 20/04/2008)
Man is the Rope Between the Ordinary and the Extraordinary
This week on WireTap, Man is a Rope Between the Ordinary and the Extraordinary. Philippe Petit tells the story of how he walked a tight rope between the Twin Towers back in 1974. Plus, Howard tries his hand at beekeeping. (Original broadcast: 13/04/2008)
Life and Afterlife
This Week on WireTap, Jonathan asks his thirteen year old daughter for the inside scoop on what the kids are saying these days. Is it breaking high school etiquette to walk up to someone and say "Hi, my name is Jonathan and I'm emo"? And what on earth is screamo? Plus, the head of the Atheist society tries to convince Jonathan to see the light...of a completely non-spiritual existence. (Original broadcast: 06/04/2008)
Private Life, Public Performance
This Week on WireTap, when Sam's friend gets hypnotized by an old hypnotist record at his 10th birthday party, Sam has no choice but to contact the magician himself, The Man They Call Chenoy, for advice on how to get his friend to snap out of it. Plus, Howard tries his hand at stand-up comedy and Raymond Ty explains how to report illegal performances of the Happy Birthday song. (Original broadcast: 23/03/2008)
Help Me, Doctor
This week on WireTap, when a man awakens to find himself turned into a cockroach, he seeks out a famous, rhyme-speaking doctor for advice: it's the Gregor Samsa/ Doctor Seuss correspondence. Plus, Jonathan and Gregor try couple's counseling to help mend their friendship. (Original broadcast: 16/03/2008)
Heaven and Hell
This week on WireTap, Heather O'Neill reads her short story "Heaven" about the time her grandfather died for a few minutes when he was nine and visited the pearly gates. Plus, Jonathan speaks with his old college chum, Irwin, about life as an ice cream man. (Original broadcast: 09/03/2008)
King David Part 2: David and Bathsheba
What happens when you hook up with your dream woman, only to have that union cursed by God? Jonathan Goldstein tells the story of David and Bathsheba. Plus, author A.J. Jacobs discusses his latest book, in which he spent a year observing every law in the bible as literally as possible -- this meant growing a beard, dressing all in white, and even stoning an adulterer. (Original broadcast: 24/02/2008)
Fake It 'Til You Make It
Jonathan gets profiled in a radio magazine, and a trigger-happy fact checker helps "enhance" some of his answers. Jon Tucker lives out a lotto fantasy, Zak gets suckered into doing an oral report about his uncle Johnny and Howard embraces his golden years and retires before the ripe old age of 40.
Negative Scanning
This week on WireTap, Negative Scanning. It's the art of still managing to find something wrong when everything seems to be going just fine. It's not being able to wear your favorite shirt because there's a pen mark on the sleeve. It's not being able to enjoy your wedding day because you're pretty sure the guy at the corner store doesn't like you. We hear from people who are trying to break free and be positive.
Do Me a Solid
Josh applies for a job as a Yukon hotel caretaker and asks Jonathan to write him a letter of recommendation.... the trouble is, he's not exactly qualified for the position. Plus, Gregor offers his words of wisdom as desperate callers phone-in for advice.
Helping Johnny
This week on WireTap, Howard takes a stab at the coveted WireTap internship position: preparing Jonathan's cocoa, doing his dry-cleaning, booking guests... But does Howard have what it takes to become a permanent member of the WireTap team? Or will he go the way of oh-so-many interns past? Plus, Gregor pitches an ad campaign that will help compensate for Jonathan's lack of sex appeal.
David and Goliath
What goes through the mind of a tiny young shepherd about to go into battle with a Philistine giant? Jonathan retells the tale of David and Goliath live on stage from Vancouver's Studio One. Plus, Vancouver's Awkward Stage will be on hand with live musical accompaniment. (Original broadcast: 13/01/2008)
The Two Marys
This week on Wiretap, a holiday spectacular. Joseph divulges the frustrations of having your wife cheat on you with God and the anxieties of raising a holy baby. Plus, Heather O'Neil reads her story "The Gospel According to Mary M. of Cartier Elementary". (Original broadcast: 23/12/2007)
Time to Face the World
This week on WireTap, Jonathan is the subject of a new Dutch shockumentary which all but assassinates his character. Scenes include him arguing with his butcher, and dancing with his eyes closed...to Bette Midler's Beast of Burden. Plus, Howard invites Jonathan to give a speech at the Howard Chackowicz Fan Club's next meeting.
The Wolf Boy, the Monkey Boy, and the Daddy's Boy
This week on WireTap, feral children run wild in the streets of Paris as Heather O'Neill reads her short story "Pierre Loup". Plus, the never-ending search for a WireTap intern continues with the unlikeliest candidate yet: Jonathan's father.
The New Josh
What would your unconscious mind say if it could talk? Reverse speech analyst David John Oates explores the hidden messages embedded backwards in our everyday conversations. Plus, Josh's anger finally gets him kicked off the show as we introduce method actor Chad Chadington as his replacement. (Original broadcast: 25/11/2007)
The Tortoise and the Bunny
Remember back in Eden, when animals could talk? This week on WireTap, hear the story of Todd the Tortoise, the last animal gifted with the power of speech, as he scours the earth in search of conversation. Plus, Howard gets Jonathan to audition for the role of Nibbles the Bunny in his upcoming animated film; and Jonathan calls up a pet therapist to figure out how to coax his 200 pound tortoise out of its shell. (Original broadcast: 18/11/2007)
Fortune's Fool
This week on WireTap, Fortune's Fool. Jonathan speaks with a luck expert to get to the root of his misfortune; Howard winds up at the doctor's office with an unlucky tummy ache; and Gregor tests his luck, and Jonathan's friendship, at a Las Vegas Casino. (Original broadcast: 04/11/2007)
Mending the Past
It's not just children that enjoy a play date. Gregor invites Jonathan to embrace his inner-child on a fun filled adventure in the park. LAter, Jonathan visits a regression therapist. Plus, Governor General Award nominee and Montreal native Heather O'Neil reads her short story "Welcome to La La Land".
Protect Yourself
This week on WireTap, Jonathan stumbles upon an ex-intern's blog, only to find that she's posted embarrassing bloopers from his studio recordings. Plus, Gregor builds Jonathan his very own helmet, and a UFO Abduction Insurance provider discusses the risk of being kidnapped by aliens. (Original broadcast: 14/10/2007)
How To Be Funny
Tune in as two humourologists lay down the rules of comedy, from dancing with a lamp shade on your head to using a pause for comedic effect. Plus, Howard tries to spice things up on WireTap with some good old canned laughter. And Josh tries to convince Jonathan that "Can I be Frank'n beans" is the funniest joke ever. (Original broadcast: 07/10/2007)
Far Away Places
This week on WireTap, Jonathan and Arizona leave the comforts of city life for a weekend camping trip. Then, Josh decides to rid himself of his material possessions and hit the road, wandering-hobo style. Plus, Gregor tries to convince Jonathan to speak with a Brooklyn accent in order to boost his tough guy credibility. (Original broadcast: 23/09/2007)
Picasso Goldstein
Behind every great artist, there is another great artist whose ideas got ripped off by the first. This week on WireTap, discover the true genius behind the legendary Picasso: his little known contemporary, Picasso Goldstein. Plus, Howard attempts some live radio reporting as he investigates Jonathan's many dark secrets. (Original broadcast: 16/09/2007)
A Catalog of Previous Universes
Ever wondered if there were other universes before this one? This week's Wiretap explores the whimsical worlds created as test runs for our own. Plus, Howard travels through the cosmos from the safety of his very own, homemade sensory deprivation tank...fashioned out of a giant recycling box. (Original broadcast: 09/09/2007)
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- Season 3
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My Weekend in Dragon's Throat
It's a trip into the past this week on WireTap - Jonathan's past. A flashback to Jonathan's first major assignment as a fledgling radio reporter. Join him as he journeys to the middle of the Arizona desert for a weekend of dune races, lawlessness and glory. (Original broadcast: 06/05/2007)
A Dream of Life
Gregor has insulted Jonathan about pretty much everything at one point or another, but this time, he takes it to a whole new level, hastleing Jonathan for his mediocre dreaming skills. In response, Jonathan turns to a lucid dream expert to help reinvigorate his sleep-life. (Original broadcast: 22/04/2007)
The Monkey, the Leopard and the Kitten
Jonathan speaks with a woman who has a knack for pointing out which animal people remind her of, though not everyone seems to appreciate her gift. Plus, would you want to be a cute little kitten if it meant you had to be Jonathan's pet? (Original broadcast: 15/04/2007)
Love Thy Neighbor
Jonathan Goldstein performs in front of a live audience in Halifax. Plus a new story from Heather O'Neill. (Original broadcast: 08/04/2007)
Modern Times
Gregor tries to help bring WireTap into the digital age with a few tips on how to appeal to today's youth. And after years of therapy, Josh has finally has a breakthrough. But will he share his life-changing discovery with Jonathan or keep it all to himself? (Original broadcast: 25/03/2008)
Every Day, Magic
Howard's ex-roommate wants to show off his magic, live on WireTap, but how will his card tricks play out...on the radio? Plus, Howard tries to get Jonathan to stop running from his past, by digging up some ancient history...literally. Find out what's in Jonathan's childhood timecapsule, this week on WireTap. (Original broadcast: 18/03/2008)
Treat Me Right
Howard plays the role of a well-meaning shrink as he councils Josh to leave his hot tempered ways behind. Plus, Gregor throws Jonathan into television pitch meeting which might not be quite what he bargained for. Finally, taking some advice from his own therapist, Jonathan calls up friendly cousin Freddy to help boost his self-esteem.
As Seen On TV
Jonathan tells the story of an unlikely reality TV candidate. How will awkward, small-town Lieberman mingle with television's attractive teens? Plus, Jonathan gets caught ordering the Glutonizer.
Listen To Your Heart
A Valentine's day special. Jonathan foretells his vision of a future where the Kiss has been lost for good. Can a pat on the head and rub of the earlobe truly replace the lip to lip? Plus, Gregor gets Jonathan's heart racing when he tries to ship him off to Afghanistan to entertain the troops.
Just Relax
Gregor has resolved to abandon his sarcastic ways, challenging Jonathan to a sarcasm-free showdown. Who will crack first? Then, Josh enlists Jonathan's help in order to keep Gonda out of the Navy. Is Josh really concerned for the well-being of his friend, or are selfish motives underfoot? Plus, a call with a relaxation guru turns stressful when a crazed fan interrupts through call waiting.
Soul Mates
Jonathan tries to make amends with an old girlfriend, enlisting Louie the Brooklyn Florist and making him suffer through a French poetry lesson in the process. Plus, Howard and Gregor meet for the very first time.
Behind the Curtain
Go "Behind the Curtain" this week on WireTap, as Howard writes Jonathan's unauthorized bio, taking more than a few liberties by tossing made-up scandals and drunken debauchery left and right. Plus, Jonathan bids farewell to his long-faithful cue card holder.
Don't Go Changing
Catch a streetcar named WireTap this week. Howard has Jonathan play Blanche Dubois to his Stanley as he tries out for a local theatre troupe's production of a Tennessee Williams classic. And Josh helps Jonathan find a new WireTap intern.
Morty and God
You've heard of God and the Devil, but who or what is Morty? Meet God's somewhat neurotic personal assistant, this week on WireTap. Plus, Sholem Auslander on tricking death, Howard Chackowicz in a spiritual game show, and a young man's view of God and religion throughout the (teen)ages.
A Fresh New Voice
This week on WireTap, Jonathan's radio voice gets 30% sexier. But is a deeper sound really enough to cure his stuttering delivery? Gregor still hears the same old Jon. Plus, what will his parents think?
A Secret History of Famous Friends
The death of a family pet escalates into a series of volatile messages that threaten to destroy Bedrock's most famous friendship, in the true life story of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. What would happen if Mary Poppins and The Penguin were set up on a blind date? Would their shared passion for umbrellas be enough to set the sparks flying? Plus, Josh gets stuck on a one note joke.
Utopia
Gregor takes on Dear Abbie in an advice-giving showdown. Plus, Jonathan does some role-playing to discover the proper bootie call etiquette.
Noah's Ark
Jonathan reads his version of Noah's Ark.
Emergency Measures
This week on WireTap, Goldstein takes it to the streets. Leaving the comfort of his studio walls is a rare venture, but Howard needs the kind of help that can't be dished out over a telephone line. Plus, a frantic phone call from a high school bathroom stall: will Goldstein be able to help his nephew out of a canadian history jam? Listen to find out.
Selling Out
This week, Gregor tries to convince Jonathan to ditch Radio for the boob tube. Will Jonathan finally think big, and bring WireTap to a Television near you? Josh lands a product placement deal... or is he just name-dropping a certain soda brand for the fun of it? Plus, Jonathan discovers that his father had a career as a songwriter -- during the era of disco.
Man Vs. Himself
Josh re-evaluates his entire life during the extra time he spends dialing the new ten-digit numbers; Jonathan hires a stalker to increase his celebrity worth; plus, a telephone tale of office romance.
Family Album
Sometimes your own family contains secrets you'd never imagine. Plus a new story by Heather O'Neill about a grandfather's secrets.
Love is Just around the corner
So as not to have to sum up a life when he's overwrought with grief, Gregor makes it a habit to write eulogies for all his friends.Of course he has one for Jonathan on file. Jon Tucker gets an obscure song stuck in his head and calls Jonathan for relief. Plus, The story of Howard and the grade six teacher who made his life hell.
Carpe Diem
Jonathan asks his friend Sam how Sam would eulogise him. Sam's answer is a startling reminder that you can't necessarily count on your friends. Jonathan also retells the story of Isaac and Abraham. Howard goes on a European vacation and calls Jonathan to let him know what he's missing.
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- Season 2
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This One's For the Children
Jonathan Goldstein performs in front of a live audience in Halifax. Plus a new story from Heather O'Neill.
Goody Two Shoes
So as not to have to sum up a life when he's overwrought with grief, Gregor makes it a habit to write eulogies for all his friends.Of course he has one for Jonathan on file. Jon Tucker gets an obscure song stuck in his head and calls Jonathan for relief. Plus, The story of Howard and the grade six teacher who made his life hell.
A Bottle of Seltzer
In a phone conversation with a six-year-old, Jonathan reflects on the state of his soul. All of Jonathan's friends decide that if he got spritzed in the face with seltzer, it would give the show a much-needed dose of funny. And the short story, Small Soul, by Jonathan Goldstein.
The Lothario
Jonathan Goldstein discovers that at the age of 93 desire and heartbreak still go hand in hand: the true story of the oldest living Lothario. Also, listen in as a lonely hopeful finds out the girl he met and liked gave him the number for The Rejection Line a service designed to tell him she never wants to see him again. (Original broadcast: 14/05/2006)
Mr. Helpful
Operation: guerilla opera. Jonathan Goldstein sends a trained soprano out on a mission...taking opera to the street. To help Josh get his groove back career-wise, Jonathan convinces him to talk to one of the most successful people they know, multi-talented Jeannette Lu. And, Jonathan's session with his life coach who seems less than fully functional himself.
The Gentleman's Guide to Grooming
In this full episode, Goldstein is lectured about history's worst haircuts, lambasted by an ex-girlfriend for his pompousness and poor toilette, and finally, taken to the mat for pretending to have a beard. Stop reading and start listening!
Samson and Delilah
Jonathan Goldstein with his award-winning retelling of Samson and Delilah. And Sholem Auslander, author of the collection of short stories, Beware of God, on why he can relate to Samson.
Forsaken
Billy Mavreas shows Jonathan his collection of lost or discarded objects. Jonathan Goldstein calls up children to ask if they recognize certain extinct sounds that may date as far back as his childhood. Sounds such as the rotary dial...Heather O'Neill reads her work Dolls. And, what you can get out of exploring abandoned or off-limits locations in our midst.
Career Opportunities
A career counselor advises Jonathan Goldstein to stick with the job he has, since he shows no promise in an attempt to make headway in the field of fashion. Howard makes a phone pitch to the editor of a prestigious literary magazine, while Jonathan secretly advises him, Cyrano De Bergerac style...
The Measure of a Man
How do you measure the unquantifiable? An expert from the website fametracker.com on quantifying celebrity. And, Gregor wants to know, how do you live a full life in metric? Expressions just don't have that time-honored ring to them. Give him a centimetre, he'll take a kilometre? A half a kilo of flesh? The whole 11.25 metres? Plus one man describes his obsession with watching funerals on-line.
Who is the Mud Dog?
What would you do if you held a call-in show and no one called? Jonathan Goldstein flounders until Gregor calls with pointers on how to make the show better. Calls from a man who claims his biggest problem is a friend's unceasing generosity and a young would-be writer reads from her work.
The Bat and the Weasels
As a way to make new friends, Josh gets a parrot. This turns out to be more complicated than anticipated, but out of compassion he has to hang onto the bird. Forever. Plus, a man who sees himself as a generous soul holds forth on the holiday spirit
A World of Possibilities
Jonathan Goldstein on the untapped possibility within each of us. Let's say you could bring about world peace with a snap of your fingers, but, if you did, the sun would never shine again. What would you do? Howard gets Jonathan to play the game of Let's Say. Jonathan gets a reading from psychic Cassandra Maclean and kids speculate on various what ifs: what would be worse, eating worms or swimming through lard...? And Jonathan describes those days when anything seems possible
A Listening Ear
A student calls in to WireTap for advice on what to do when her dad starts reading her blog and a man asks how to deal with his aging mother. Jonathan Goldstein is at a loss in terms of how to advise these people and ends up telling one caller his own problems. Finally, Josh calls in with a question so basic that Jonathan might actually have an answer for him.
The Promise of Childhood
Jonathan Goldstein describes how it feels when Zuuzuu discovers the Beatles. Gregor does his best to save a precocious child from certain doom - a future of adult mediocrity. Howard tries to convince Goldstein to revisit the glories of childhood with a round of what he claims was the best game ever: No Rules Octopus Rock Tag.
I Can See You Through the Radio
Josh insists that Jonathan should limit the self-revelation on his show, and then finds himself revealing yet another intimate aspect of his life on air. Goldstein talks to a woman who hears voices that are undetectable to the ordinary ear, reverberating through her house; Jonathan Goldstein's short story about how his voice ended up on the radio; and what people are really thinking while the radio plays.
Compassion
As a way to make new friends, Josh gets a parrot. This turns out to be more complicated than anticipated, but out of compassion he has to hang onto the bird. Forever. Plus, a man who sees himself as a generous soul holds forth on the holiday spirit
New Technologies
Feeling glum around the holidays? Experience the solace of the psychological services hot-line What happens when a robot feels something for the very first time, a story by Heather O'Neill. And, Howard gets his own radio show in the form of a podcast.
We Are Not Supermen
What it's like to date Lois Lane when she's on the rebound from Superman. A story by Jonathan Goldstein, performed by Rob Cordry, of The Daily Show. Plus, Jonathan gets lessons from Gregor on how to be a man when it comes to his ottoman.
One of a Kind
Jonathan tells the story of his mother's penchant for returning purchases to the store no matter how many years ago she bought them. Jonathan and Gregor exchange duelling phone messages. The bone of contention: whose mother has made life more unbearable? Plus, The Gospel According to Mary M. from Cartier Elementary by Heather O'Neill.
The Art of Charity
Goldstein fields a request to appear in CBC You Naked, a fundraising calendar for a good cause; Josh gets a maid he can't afford which forces him to pretend to be someone important; and, what happens when you show someone who's never seen a map of the world.
Performance
Jonathan Goldstein performs stand-up using material from way off the beaten track. Jonathan asks Gregor to retell a hilarious story for the radio and it turns out to be an extremely complicated endeavor. A very special one-note version of Stairway to Heaven. Plus, karaoke Goldstein-style
Get With It
Much to his dismay, Jonathan Goldstein discovers an unsettling connection between his mother and his friend Howard; and some radical advice from a marketing specialist on how to take the WireTap brand global.
Object of Affection
New love in junior high, a story by Heather O'Neill; the real-life story of extreme infatuation with your college professor; The Dumb Look, Jonathan Goldstein's story of a married love so old and deep it fills you with pity; a hand model reflects lovingly on her best feature and her bread and butter; plus, karaoke Goldstein-style.
Do it Yourself Fun Time
Jonathan convinces Zuuzuu, who's bored, to invent a story with him over the phone; Howard launches a new career as a professional party animal; the editor of Readymade magazine with DIY tips for life; plus, an 81-year-old punster.
Seduction
Aste Spumante, velour wallpaper, corduroy beanbag chairs, Jonathan Goldstein pulls out all the stops to seduce; Josh explains how the thrill of seduction is vital to his life; one woman describes the life-changing thrill of eye contact on the dance floor; and Jonathan talks to his parents about their courtship and who seduced whom.
Come on Get Happy
Jonathan Goldstein offers a soothing monologue to relax your ears. The undisputed world champion of Simon Says plays a round with Jonathan...over the phone. Plus, in the midst of a yelling match at a corner store, a man is approached by a stranger with an unusual job offer. Also, singer Jackie Washington.
The Believers
On the subway Jonathan Goldstein has an awkward encounter with an old man who claims to be his guardian angel. And, after two friends break up, Jonathan listens, perhaps with an agenda of his own, while they talk about each other and the demise of their relationship.
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The Big Shot
Kneebrace Kenny, Cleats Onionpocket, Gluttonous Slim and 697 other hobo names as concocted by a self-styled expert on the subject. Howard tries to get Goldstein to remember a pivotal movie from their teen years and Heather O'Neill reads her work Big Shots on the Block.
Reach for the Top
The tower of Babel and other tales of unequalled hubris...including, one man's quest to become the smartest man in the world and the story behind the outgoing message on Josh's answering machine.
Life Lessons
Goldstein gets lessons in stand-up comedy from a 10 year-old; and from Howard, a tip on how to achieve the perfect poker face...by shaving your eyebrows. Plus, juggling on the radio.
Solving Quebec's Problems
Worried you're a psychopath? Think your baby is the Buddha reincarnated? Did you get your girlfriend's toe stuck in a bowling ball? Or maybe you just need someone to talk to. Callers from across Quebec take advantage of Goldstein's insight into matters of the heart.
Prized Possessions
What's your prized possession? For Josh, it's Fluffles the Magnificent, AKA, Death Ray. Goldstein retells the story of Joseph's coat of many colours, plus the tale of a coveted white leather jacket and the sad history of one man's four-leafed clover collection.
What I've learned
Howard tells Goldstein how he takes to the street with his gong in order to inspire, enlighten and educate the youth of today. Heather O'Neill reads her work My Education and Goldstein confesses that after over thirty-five years of existence, he has not learned a single thing.
Confessions
The shameful, the shocking, the unspeakable. A man with a thing for birds, wearing the same pair of pants for weeks in a row, and Governor General's Award-winning author Miriam Toews on smoking in empty parking lots.
Vacation
The story of a dream vacation that goes terribly wrong. Plus, Goldstein speaks to a man who can get away from it all while staying right where he is.
Haters
Goldstein confronts the haters who despise his excellence.
The Wind at the End of the World
Frequenting funeral homes in search of love, plus other stories of lies, sex and death. Heather O'Neill reads her work, The Apocalypse.
Movin On
More than anything, James wanted to make a fresh start by moving out of his miserable basement apartment. It turns out, though, that it's the move from hell. Also, Goldstein tries internet dating, with surprising results.
Do Your Little Radio Show
A series of disturbing dreams induces panic so Goldstein turns to his friends for advice on how to mellow out. Plus, a special musical appearance by The Mekons' John Langford.
How I Became So Hostile
Goldstein's friend Evan berates him for being hostile, prompting him to go back, way back, in order trace the roots of his hostility toward the world. In search of answers, he speaks to his old secretary, his fourth grade teacher, an expert on circumcision, and his parents.
The Call-in Show
A clingy boyfriend, an out-of-work security guard with a penchant for playing the market, a worried mother and a girl with no nose. People in the strangest predicaments call Goldstein for advice.
On The Beach
WireTap goes to the beach...Stories of love and loss, and a lonely tattooed lady on Christmas day.
Of Man and Beast
A vial of pheromones gives one single guy a chance at finding love. And, transporting a pig from Ottawa to Montreal spells the end of a couple's relationship.
There's No Business
Goldstein tracks down the great Frankie Reynolds, a comedian who left show business in 1974 and has never been heard from since. Why he disappeared, and what made his cruel and morbid routines so funny. Plus, how to cry on cue.
Generation Gap
A 13-year-old falls in love with a woman old enough to be his grandmother; and an adult reveals her deep dislike for her friend's five-year-old.
Old Scores
Goldstein gets back together with the guitarist from his old band in a reunion filled with accusations, recrimination and general ill will. Also, one couple's pain-filled custody battle... over a dog.
Halloween Special
A mysterious email murder confession, a candid conversation with the Devil, and the scariest movie of all time. (Original broadcast: 30/10/2004)
Our Fathers
Goldstein talks to his dad about what it's like to have a son who never lived up to your expectations; one woman laments having had the perfect father; a dad wonders if his kids actually like him, and Heather O'Neill on a father-daughter family of two.
Modern Language
Choo! It can mean anything you want it to mean. The etymology of an unusual expression is traced through a series of phone calls. Plus, kids on big words, and irresistible catch phrases, crafted by a rock n' roll professional.
Bullies
What happens when the bully who makes your life a living hell just one day disappears? Also, fighting your enemies with radio attack ads.
Let's Pretend
A man tells an innocuous lie to cover up his penchant for eating rabbit pellets. Next thing he knows, he's lost his job, his girlfriend, and the police are kicking in his door. Plus, charades... on the radio.
Canadian Content
How a Canadian copes with a heart attack in America, and Howard's investigative report on how Canada is helping Harlem or something like that. Plus, the definitive difference between Americans and Canadians revealed.
What's Past is Past
Some memories never leave us. The end of a great grade school love affair; and, prompted by Goldstein, Josh goes back see an ex-girlfriend for some closure... and to retrieve his copy of James Taylor's Handy Man.
The Watcher
Watching and being watched What is the allure of watching a stranger's life unfold? And what is the power that a watcher holds over us? The slow dissolution of a young couple's relationship as heard through a radiator; and a man who discovers a channel that broadcasts a mysterious empty lobby that he just can't stop watching... and then one day, a woman appears in the lobby.
Messiah '83
A young man. A father. A rabbi who might have been sent to earth to redeem mankind. A small wood hut packed with a hundred dancing men. And plenty of booze.
Broken Telephone
Will a lost TV remote ever be found? Can you successfully fake the sound of call waiting? Will our hero ever get to see Yentl? This has been described as the funniest WireTap ever.
The First Thing That Comes to Mind
You can't stop yourself. It just comes out. It's not the right thing to say, but you're powerless to do otherwise. A college entrance interview gone horribly wrong, meeting Dylan Thomas and word association with rap phenomenon, the notorious Hum V. (Original broadcast: 07/08/2004)
Diaries
In the mid 1980's, sisters Lisa and Sue Gabriel were teenagers sharing the same bedroom. They both kept detailed diaries about their fears, crushes and, unbeknownst to both of them-- each other. For the first time, the two sisters break the lock on their old diaries, on air, and confide their teen secrets Also, Found Magazine's Davy Rothbart defends the act of reading other people's diaries. Even his own mom's. (Original broadcast: 31/07/2004)
Obsessions
How many decades can you spend every day thinking about someone you only went out with ten times? What happens when you can't stop talking to your cat? And, a man who desperately wants to be obsessed -- does he have what it takes? (Original broadcast: 24/07/2004)
Tell It Like It Is
When the truth is hard to take, Jonathan Goldstein tries to learn "Verbal Judo " in self-defense. And, what do you do when you find out the awful truth about a friend's therapist? (Original broadcast: 17/07/2004)
Positive Thinking
What's the downside of looking on the bright side? In an effort to transcend what some may describe as a melancholic disposition, Jonathan Goldstein consults a creative visualization instructor, self-help albums from the 1950s... and his parents. (Original broadcast: 10/07/2004)
It's Over (a.k.a. the first episode of WireTap)
The heartbreak of breaking up and the delicate hope of new beginnings. Jonathan Goldstein breaks the record for being broken up with: five times in one half hour. How can you not listen in? Plus, one woman's pledge to render the planet extinct of humans doesn't go the way she planned. (Original broadcast: 03/07/2004)
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Host
Host Jonathan Goldstein
