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One more level?

by Paul Jay, CBCNews.ca

For some couples, video games can be a divisive issue, particularly if one of the spouses is spending more time than the other fighting hordes of orcs and dark elves. In the lexicon of trend watching , the spouses on the outside looking in are called "gamer widows." Toronto resident Sherry Myrow has even started up an online support group.

If this is you, tech humour site BBSpot has posted a funny flow chart to organize your priorities.

My wife Allysun is not a gamer widow yet, but she has been known to shudder after my half-an-hour of Civilization IV or Neverwinter Nights turns into two or more. Like the American Medical Association, I'm not ready to call it an addiction yet. But I do recognize that while I am conquering Byzantium or skewering Ogres, the barbecue grill could be cleaned and the basement clutter reorganized. Owning a home is like playing an RPG: there's always another task, another chance to level up, or in this case, upgrade.

So, to all those gamers out there, how do you keep the gaming in check?

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Comments

Monkey

Winnipeg

First off, it's about time I got something to blog about.

Anyways it's all about control, once again limiting the use of consoles or PC's, depending on the user's priorities, be it having a wife/girlfriend, children, house/apartment, etc...(self control)

I for one have no such control, I work, come home and play anything that I feel like, for as long as I like, with the occasional bathroom and eating breaks. And I guess some sleep too.

On the other hand I've lost many comrades playing endless hours of Warcraft, one of which had a website running for gamers and he let it slip... a dark world indeed...

As a final note I need to find myself a girl who likes gaming as much as I do and one who I can play with aswell, LOL, and watch movies with, hang out... *tear* such a lonely world!

I'm wishing myself good luck.

Happy Blogging :D

Posted October 3, 2007 08:21 AM

hubby

I was an abusive gamer...until the wife, the kids and the home arrived into my life. I used to play 4 hours a day on average of games (which my then girlfriend found abusive, but she married me anyways). Now I get about 4 hours a week. Always when the kids are in bed, and the wife is busy with her shows. It`s funny you mentionned that life is like a game, but home improvement is costly. But I do so enjoy seeing my kids "level up". Now my 3 year old son Arthur goes to the bathroom all on his own, dresses himself, makes me laugh. And yes, kids are MORE rewarding than a civ game, as there`s nothing I hate more than losing 4 hours of game time because I forgot to save. Kids, they have an "auto-save" function built in. Which is scary, as they don`t come with a "load" button, so you`re stuck with the mistakes you make. But that just means more concentration. I could go on......but I wont. Final comment: There should be more articles per day listed on this blog.

Posted October 3, 2007 10:31 AM

Joe

Ottawa

I am a console gamer and I pace myself. Gaming does not come first. My girlfriend is not a gamer and she wasn't brought up with video games and that makes a difference. If you weren't borught up playing them how could you possibly understand the draw to them?

Playing for hours on end and neglecting the world around you all comes back to self control. Set limits for yourself. Play for 2 hours, then stop - or play until the next save point. Or if you have a day off play fo 2 hours after you finish your chores or other duties.

The other issue is the choice of games. If you game is continous and never ends (WOW) they want you to play as much as possible to continue collecting monthly revenue from you.

I play games that I know will eventually end, and spread it out over a month or two. When the Wii came out it took me a couple of months to finish Zelda - it was still a great game and lasted quite some time when you spread it out.

Posted October 3, 2007 10:50 AM

Andrew

NL

I know a few people my age who constantly talks about the same games over and over and over again. It gets pretty annoying after awhile. I don't understand how the same people talk about so many different things for one game. For instance, these people kept talking about Counter Strike for months. At the time, they were my 'friends', but one day I just got up, and left the room, and never came back. I couldn't handel it anymore.

I love video games myself, but it doesnt take up my whole life. The only game I really talk about mostly is the GTA games, but I havent talked about that game since San Andreas was brand new and was very popular. I'd say I'll be talking about the game more when GTA 4 comes out in March, but I do have other interests in other things.

I know for a fact that when I get home from work in a hour 1/2 from now, ill be playing online on my PS3, cuz I just got it hooked up online last night..but again, I know i'll be hanging out with some friends tonight too.

Posted October 3, 2007 11:58 AM

Monkey

Winnipeg

CSS is sick, currently in CAL-O looking forward to my next match either Sunday or Monday, depending on the other team.

Should be good enough for CAL-M...should be.

LOL.

Happy Fragging Gamers!

And to hubby, that's awesome, can't wait to have a family sometime in my life, lol.

Posted October 3, 2007 02:07 PM

Bill

Mississauga

There are honestly times I feel guilty playing a couple hours a night of Warcraft. WOW Crack is a term I've heard and it's true how addictive it can be. I have a wife and a son, but like others have already said, it's best to wait until the tyke is in bed. My wife is busy with shows I find too stupid to watch. I seldom play more than 3 or 4 times a week. However, if I start neglecting things around the house (or worse, my family), I hope someone will be good enough to kick me in the butt.

Posted October 3, 2007 05:38 PM

Garet

Winnipeg

My girlfriend enjoys watching me play Halo 3. Then she plays Paperboy.

Posted October 4, 2007 08:28 AM

Ally

Ontario

It's funny how a lot of guys think that having a gamer wife will make things easier because she'll understand the addiction. In our household of two gamers, we have to be very careful not to slide into temptation, because neither of us is inclined to slow down the other when the games are calling. Any complaints by either of us are easily dismissed as hypocrisy by the other.

As for gamer "widows" I don't understand why it's singled out as a problem that's different from other activities. Why is gaming seen as negative, when it's perfectly understandable to be a "hockey widow", or for a guy to be a "TV widower" for that matter? If we read a book a night, or watch TV shows religiously, or never miss a playoff game, it's okay, but as soon as it's gaming, we're irresponsible children who refuse to grow up.

Posted October 5, 2007 09:47 AM

Hubby

Montreal

Yes, it is about self control. And I also don't play games that go on forever. My favorites? Total war series, Civilisation, those kind of games. Once you conquer the map, you`re done. I'm a HUGE Star wars fan, but when the online game came out, I looked online at the available forums and such, found so many, I didn't even have time to check them all. I feel the best age for those games: 14 to 20, no responsibilities, usually no girlfriends, and as long as you keep good grades, that`s when you play. I'm 32, and too busy. I play Squash twice a week now (once the kids are in bed), play a bit on my 4 year old computer (Rome Total War at the moment) and that`s it. Weekends? Family, chores and rest. Weekdays? Running like a chicken without a head till 7:30, then braindead till 9:30. (yes, that`s the time I go to bed now, I wake up at 5:30, and the wife and I (chitchat) for 45 mins in bed).

Posted October 5, 2007 12:58 PM

Link Mack

Hey to all my fellow OnLine Gamers,

I play EVE Online a space themed game. It has been around since 2004, and I have been playing for about 2yrs. I have to admit It has at times taken up to much time from the family. But I have to admit that there are far worse things in my city that I could be addicted to (drugs, alcohol, ECT.)It keeps me home. I use to play Star Wars Online till they totally made it no fun at all. I have since learned to manage my time online to family time and home chores (plastering that room that is taking forever...LOL) I'm a big procrastiator, so at time it's is difficult to get things done =-) But hey the wife is going to school to be a teacher and is studying lots, so when kid goes to bed I get to play =-). Still need to get that room finished.....LOL

"Live Long & Play hard"

Posted October 5, 2007 05:52 PM

Garet

Winnipeg

I just got Live for my 360, and played the crap out of Halo 3 online this weekend.

Posted October 9, 2007 10:55 AM

Losfer

Dartmouth

Pfft, my wife yells at me when I don't play ENOUGH games!

"Stop playing console games and come online and level up your Final Fantasy XI character!"

If I don't play enough FFXI a day (previously WoW), the missus gets angry and tells me off. And this is after seven and a half hours at the office everyday.

We're both gamers, so we know what gaming can take sometimes. Cheers, Link Mack, you got it. Playing games is a much better hobby than drugs and drink! It all comes down to responsibility. We work, we take care of our responsibilities, and we also take pride in the gaming we do.

A hobby is a hobby and deserves putting lots of time into, whether it's World of Warcraft, playing music, building model cars, building real cars... Take pride in your hobbies!

Here's to the gamers!

Posted October 9, 2007 02:17 PM

Monkey

Winnipeg

Losfer, where did you find your wife? Does she have a sister? LOL

I want a gamer chick in my life, preferably one that likes PC games over console, we can lvl and hold hands, :D!

Posted October 10, 2007 09:49 AM

Garet

Winnipeg

How can you use hotkeys and hold hands at the same time?

Posted October 10, 2007 12:54 PM

Monkey

Winnipeg

She would control the mouse and i'd hit up the hotkeys... or something like that, lol

:D!

Posted October 11, 2007 08:38 AM

Jason

Halifax

I completely agree with Ally. 'Gamers widow' is a term that is targeted by so many, because of the addictiveness. This term is being flamed by so many people, and abused way too much. I am one of those gamers who can pace myself. I play online and non online games. I have a girlfreind, and soon hope to propose when I get the cash for the ring I really want to get her. I tell her every time I start to play, that when ever you want me to stop, just let me know (I can get easily distracted because I have ADHD, more then not, forget to stop), and I have no problem prying myself from it, and spending time with her, and she appreciates that.

But there ar so many 'widow' terms out there, which are just as bad. 'TV Widow', to me is just as bad. 'Sport fan widows, online widow, poker widow, etc etc etc... The list continues. The only reason why I see it being targeted is because of the huge following and variety, also because it relates to 'being a child' again. Newsflash; ratings aren't made on games to tempt kids to illegally buy them/ steal them. The label explains it all, but hey what do we know? where just naive, right?

Posted January 24, 2008 12:06 PM

Keri

Alberta

I love to play pc games more than my husband who happened to introduce me to the world 'online'. Its a great way to save money-especially from shopping =p anyways I love kickin back with a coffee after work and heading to the shire LOL.

Now whether my husband can handle it is another matter which is why i keep him busy doing dishes and laundry-hey i work fulltime too lol

*oh some advice to newly wed gamers-GET 2 PC's!

Posted April 18, 2008 06:12 PM

Monkey

Winnipeg

2 PCs, so that you may take out your frustrations on eachother with FPSs, lol!

I love that idea

Posted April 22, 2008 10:24 AM

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