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Captain Simon Mailloux On Survivor’s Guilt: “You Ask Yourself ‘Why You? Why Not Them?’”
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In 2007 Captain Simon Mailloux lost the lower part of his left leg in an IED explosion in Kandahar which killed three others. Though his recovery was tough, in 2008 he became aide-de-camp to then-Governor General of Canada, Michaëlle Jean and in 2009 he became the first known Canadian soldier to return to service after an amputation.

Mailloux's resolve to get back to duty, however, was tempered with a certain amount of survivor's guilt. 

"Every time I make a choice in my life I have to think that I have to deserve what they gave me, I can't cut short, I can't cut corners, I gotta make sure that whatever I do is in honour of them and whatever sacrifice they made I gotta make up for it," Mailloux told George. 

"I did have some (survivor's guilt) obviously," he continued. "You ask yourself 'Why you? Why not them?' I lost guys not only on that day but a guy prior to that as well. And you always ask yourself, 'Did I make the right decision? Should I have gone left when I went right?' But I stopped that right away. Because then you start second-guessing everything you do everything starts to be really hard. And you need to make quick decisions over there. They're going to cost lives sometimes. But that is what military operation is all about."

Captain Simon Mailloux appears on George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight on Monday, November 11 at 7 pm and 11:30 pm.