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Politics
Darkhorse Candidate Emerging In The U.S. Election Campaign - The Canada Party For President Of The U
October 31, 2012
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darkhorse-candidate-emerging-in-us-election-campaign-the-canada-party-wants-to-be-the-next-president-of-the-united-states-feature3.jpg

It's crunch time now in the U.S. presidential campaign - just six days to go until the election next Tuesday.

A new poll suggests Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are in a dead heat. Among likely voters, Obama is leading Romney by 47 per cent to 46 per cent.

But among registered voters, 53 per cent said Obama would win. Only 29 percent picked Romney. A majority also said they expected Obama to win their state.

As well, (and who knows if this means anything) Obama leads Romney in newspaper endorsements 34-28 according to the American Presidency Project.

The two American papers with the largest circulations - the Wall Street Journal and USA Today - don't generally endorse candidates.

The next two largest papers - the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times - are both supporting Obama, as they did in 2008.

The New York Post is the biggest paper to back Romney.

darkhorse-candidate-emerging-in-us-election-campaign-the-canada-party-wants-to-be-the-next-president-of-the-united-states-feature2.jpg All of that said, there is a darkhorse candidate that is poised to sneak up on everyone in the final days of the campaign.

The Canada Party' - founded by political satirists Brian Calvert and Chris Cannon.

Together, they have one goal: to get Canada elected as the next President of the United States.

Calvert and Cannon started their "campaign" this past January with this ad, designed to give Americans a real choice in this election. And a warning about some of the language.

Since then, their "campaign" videos have amassed nearly a million hits on YouTube.

They also have a new book - 'America, But Better: The Canada Party Manifesto'.

Here's their latest campaign ad, entitled 'The Canada Party - The Most Interesting Country In The World.'

And here are their campaign promises.

1. One gay couple will be allowed to marry for every straight couple that gets divorced.

2. The phrase "job creators" will be changed to "job creationists,"and they will be given seven days to actually create some.

darkhorse-candidate-emerging-in-us-election-campaign-the-canada-party-wants-to-be-the-next-president-of-the-united-states-feature1.jpg 3. Corporations will still be people, but if they can't provide a birth certificate they will be legally obligated to care for your lawn.

4. Corners will be installed in the Oval Office, and timeouts given to congressmen who can't play nice.

5. Devoted to restoring America to its former glory, the Canada Party will soon have the whole world chanting, "Yes We Canada."

With a platform that comprehensive, and with so much at stake in the U.S. campaign, we secured an exclusive interview with the founders of 'The Canada Party' - Brian Calvert and Chris Cannon.

What inspired the idea for the campaign?

CP: "Watching the Republican primaries, it seemed America had gotten drunk on its notion of "exceptionalism," and they needed a trusted friend to take their keys and drive them home. We felt it was our duty as the responsible little brother to stage an intervention to keep the crackheads from setting fire to their own house and peeling our paint."

What do you think of the idea that your campaign (and others like it) stem for Canada's inferiority complex to America?

CP: "Is our inferiority complex any worse (or less deserved) than their superiority complex? Things never work out for the school bully in the long run. If we learned anything from 'Back to the Future', it's that the bully ends up washing the nerd's car when they grow up. What we need is a Canadian version of "American Exceptionalism" -- maybe "Canada: You'll All Be Working for Us Someday."

What's the worst thing an American has said to you about your campaign?

CP: "One YouTube viewer (and probable Tim Tebow fan) suggested that we "please insert your bid for the presidency into your backside" (translated to Canadian English). Second to that: "I wasn't even going to vote but now I'm voting for you." Hooray! We beat not voting!"

Aren't politicians in Canada as much about rhetoric and spin as American politicians? A lot of people would say Question Period is more about theatre than actual substance or debate.

CP: "Sure, but in Canada politics is a hobby, and in the U.S. it's professional entertainment. Canada has stricter laws against public lying, so there are literally soap operas more believable than the story lines we see down south. American politicians are better dressed, have whiter teeth, and went to the Lance Armstrong school of convincing liarship. We've come a long way with the campaign behind "Ethical Oil," but nobody knows how to put on a halftime show like a twice-divorced American running for office on a family values platform."

Do you expect your campaign to have any effect on American voters?

CP: "We've given up on the people who vote according to cat-based internet memes, and are instead chasing the growing demographic of people who vote ironically. As long as there are no trucker-hat conventions to keep them away from the polls on election day, we think we'll do quite well."

Give us five things you think America does well.

CP: Double rainbows, Sprayable cheeses, Gun deaths, Speling [sic], Reminding us that Canada discovered insulin

Do you have a favourite campaign ad of the U.S. campaign (other than your own)?

CP: "They make campaign ads? We haven't seen any, but we assume they are inexpensive, respectful, and completely true. We do enjoy the clip of Rick Santorum claiming that education is for snobs. That man sure knows his base."

What's the biggest thing you don't understand about America? The thing that makes you scratch your head the most.

CP: "We have trouble understanding why the American people put up with the nonsense their leaders say and do on their behalf. If a ventriloquist had his hands up our asses, we wouldn't let him hire his writers off craigslist. Also, how Bret Ratner keeps getting work."

What's a quality about America that you'd like to see more of in Canada?

CP: "Cheap booze. But seriously, we'd love to see more Americans. We make fun of American expats, but the ones escaping to Canada are really the best they have to offer, and no one appreciates Canada more than an American refugee. So we'd like to see more Americans, fewer 'mer'cans. And we hope they bring booze."

Who do you think will win the U.S. election?

CP: "No matter who wins, the American people will lose. But we take comfort in the fact that every time Mitt Romney speaks, the Canada Party gets thousands of new supporters."

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